We’ve been in vacation-planning mode for the past several weeks, carefully planning out everything we want to do and see, and deciding what adventures we want to have. I love planning everything out, looking at options, and deciding what is going to work best for our situation. I have huge dreams for everything we can do, then – right before I book it -- I need to do one more thing: Look at the price. That’s when the decision gets tough.

Sometimes I forget that there is a cost to everything. The adventures look great on paper, but when it is time to check out I have to decide if it is worth it. There is a tipping point on every choice, where the cost may no longer be worth the adventure.

I’m learning the same is true in my relationships. When I choose to stay at work late there is a reward in getting extra work done, but there is a cost as well. The cost is that I don’t get to spend that time with the person I love.  Every day we are forced to wrestle with the same question: What are we willing to pay for the relationship?

On the surface the question seems almost ridiculous. Every couple I coach or talk to say they are willing to pay anything for the people that mean the most. However, the reality of the cost is completely different. I know plenty of husbands who would take a bullet for their families, but would they come home from work early? I know people that would pay any amount of money to make sure their spouse stays healthy, but would they see a counselor if it meant keeping their relationship strong?

The truth is that we get what we pay for, so if we aren’t willing to accept the cost of a healthy relationship then chances are good we will never have one.

A healthy relationship costs us an emotional investment.

A healthy relationship costs us our selfish desires in order to put the relationship first.

A healthy relationship costs us pride in order to have humility.

A healthy relationship costs us time in order to have unity.

The best relationships have one thing in common: They cost us everything, and they are always worth it.