Dear Friends,

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you had an enjoyable day with people you love the most.

One of the things that I love most about this season is the intentional look at relationships. Relationships matter so much and in so many different ways. Whether we want to admit it or not the world we live in is built on relationships, and our success (or failure) is often determined by our ability to navigate them carefully.

We have all learned how to be in relationships from someone; parents, friends, and even just the culture. Though we all will admit that relationships are super important it is also likely we won’t take the time to learn how to be in them more effectively.

When I came back from my deployment in 2005 I needed to learn how to be married again, and that’s what I did. For the next decade I dove into relationships and began to pull together some of my thoughts on what that means. Recently, I had the distinct privilege to share some of those lessons with my dear friend Milton Herring II. Milton gave me the audio so I can share it as a special bonus episode of the podcast!

You can listen to our conversation here.

Here are three things that we cover in the conversation:

1. People don’t fall in and out of love, they fall in and out of commitment to the disciplines of being married. Usually it is the little stuff that we stop doing that comes back to bite us. The long-term impact of marriage is strengthened by our regular routines of being together.

2. Failed expectations lead to bitterness and disappointment. Talk through what you expect, and set the moment up so that the conversation can be successful.

3. When you get on the same team no one has to lose. Create a long-term vision that you both can believe in and work towards. So often we get to a place where someone feels like they lost, but when you dream together you both win.

I hope this little taste of our conversation helps, and obviously, when in doubt don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Thanks for listening!

Tony