Tony Miltenberger

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5 Things I learned on Deployment That Can Help Your Right Now

So, what has really been an interesting development for me is the feeling of familiarity in this season of sheltering in place. I’ve been here before, I’ve done this. As I began to place the idea of where I’ve done this before it hit me: When I was deployed to Kuwait. 

From 2004-2005 I lived under Government control, and in a very confined space. While the base I was stationed at was much bigger than my house the comparisons are undeniable. And as I began to think about that time period I remembered one of our missions during that deployment was to help service members deal with the realities of deployment.

The realities are much like they are today; limited freedom, enclosed space with the same people (all the time), and a mundane routine that can make it feel like Groundhog Day every day. 

So, I thought I would share with you things we learned on deployment that might help you as you navigate sheltering in place: 

1. Pressure magnifies cracks. When we saw Soldiers who were preparing to deploy one of the constant messages was: Deployments make the cracks in your foundation magnified. The same is true during this period at home. Whatever cracks you have in your relationships, coping skills, or general life will only be magnified during the pressure of this moment. Do yourself a favor - look at your cracks! 

2. Physical fitness will change your mental fitness. One of the first things they put on any base in the military is the gym. Why? Because being physically active changes everything. When we were deployed we would walk for miles around the base - mostly because it was our entertainment, but also because it cleared our head. In the COVID world we are living in it will be easy to let your head get cloudy. Get physical; walk, run, skip - it doesn’t matter. Also, so you know - don’t let the weather be an excuse. Put on your raincoat and walk anyway. 

3. What you take in will help create what you put out. Listen, I know it is tempting to watch the news all the time, but it is not going to help you lessen your anxiety. Balance it out with something that makes you smarter. This is a perfect time to learn something new. Take an online class, learn a new language, tackle those books on your nightstand. We used to tell Soldiers that deployment is a great time to do some distance learning, or read some books. What you take in will help create what you put out. 

4. Lean in to your faith. In the chaplain corps we always stressed this idea that getting in a rhythm with your faith will only make you stronger. There are so many opportunities right now to connect with faith leaders on a close personal level. Don’t miss this opportunity, and if you have questions for God - now is the perfect time to ask. You actually have time to listen! 

5. Get close to those you are doing life with. During my deployment I found friends that would carry me through a lifetime. All of them mean so much to me, and it is because we lifted each other up in times that would have been easy to collapse. Your community can be that for you right now. Your family can get stronger during this time, your friends can get stronger during this time. Intentional relationship building leads to reinforced relationships. It will take effort, but getting stronger always does. 

All of this leads me to one final reminder: You may feel alone, but you aren’t alone. You’ve got people who want to help you, you’ve got people who want to walk with you. You aren’t alone.  If you feel alone, and need some help please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m sure we can find some time to talk (tony@restorationcenterville.org).