#459: Tony Talks On: Why the Biggest Issue in the Conflict Might Be You
In Episode 459 of the Follow2Lead Podcast, Tony Miltenberger tackles one of the most searched leadership questions on the internet: How do effective leaders handle conflict?
Drawing from Matthew 18 and his own coaching experience, Tony explores why most leaders develop a conflict style long before they ever become leaders. Whether you naturally run toward conflict or avoid it at all costs, your approach is often shaped by past experiences, relationships, and learned behaviors.
Tony challenges leaders to examine what they bring into difficult conversations and explains why avoiding conflict isn't kindness—it's often self-protection disguised as consideration.
He also introduces the Emotional Intensity Scale, a practical tool for determining whether you're emotionally ready to have a productive conversation. Leaders who handle conflict well aren't necessarily the ones who enjoy it; they're the ones who do the internal work before the external conversation.
This episode provides a practical, biblical framework for addressing conflict with honesty, wisdom, and a commitment to restoration.
Coaching Question:
Is there a hard conversation you've been waiting to have? What is it costing the other person because you haven't had it yet?
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