#103: John Houston: Finding Your Way Home
EP. 103 John Houston
Tony: Welcome to the Reclamation Podcast, where our goal is to help you reclaim good practices for faith and life. Today is episode one Oh three. And I have the privilege of sitting down with speaker, author and entrepreneur, John Houston, John shares his story about his broken pass is promising future and how to live into your God-given purpose.
I think you're going to find his insight to be incredible. And he's got such a humble posture for a man who's overcome so many obstacles to do great thing for the kingdom of God. This episode is brought to you by the spirit and truth podcast network. I'm so excited to be partnering with them as we continue to see what God's going to do with all of our platforms to learn more about spirit and truth.
Check out there, website, spirit and truth.life. Just want to say, thank you guys so much for being with me on this journey. Episode one Oh three is going to be incredible. I know you're going to love it. He is a good guy. And if you do love it, do me a favor, hit that subscribe button, leave a rating or review on iTunes.
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Free of charge. I use overcast as a podcast player. You might like that, or Spotify, or even just plain old Apple podcasts, so many different ways to connect with the podcasts. We're thankful that you're part of this community and without any further ado, here's my conversation with John Houston. Hey everybody.
Welcome back to the podcast. I'm excited to have a CEO leader and author John Houston here, John. Thank you so much for doing man.
John: I am so excited about being here. Thank you very much, Tony, for having me.
Tony: And you're, you're calling us from just South of Dallas, Texas, and you're in the midst of the weirdest weather.
And so my first question is how, how are you doing? And, and how are you?
John: You know what, man, really, God has been really good to us. It's been a crazy week. I've grown up in Texas and literally I've never seen weather like this. I've never gone. I mean, we'd been without power. We've got it back now, but we were without power for four days.
Without water for a couple of the days in that. And but man, it's just been a, it's been a great reminder of just how good God is, but you know, our staff man, our people are just great. I mean, how they fall down each other, how they've opened their homes to each other has really just been cool to watch.
So it's pretty neat.
Tony: And you, you recently blogged about this, very idea about the importance of people. What have you learned about the, the people in your organization and the culture of your organizations in light of all this kind of calamity? Cause I really think it is a true test of it's a little bit.
John: It is man, for me, I think one of the things that I was just reminded of this week is, you know, leadership is influence and, you know, moral authority is considered the greatest. Level of leadership. And and so that's what I was actually talking to our leaders about this week, man, when our, our character is tested in times like this and a big, big way.
And so when we can enter into that and really walk out that integrity and walk out, you know, not losing our cool with our, with our spouse, not losing our Cole with our kids. Not losing for me. For example, I had to really step back. I mean, I'm one of our biggest businesses as a home building business.
And I had to step back when my, my plumber was saying, Hey, I can't get all this fixed today. I don't have water. And I had to step back and go, you know what, all these years I've been leading this guy in one second, all of that can change. If I respond wrong and I had to go, you know what? I've got to trust him that he's doing the best he can.
He's smarter than I am when it comes to plumbing. So I'm going to trust him. And it was just a great, it was a great reminder not to mention my, my son was at our house. My wife was there. One of my son's friends was there. And so I really had an opportunity to blow it as a leader or I had an opportunity to step back and go, what is all this, what, what, what is that worth and what, what value am I going to add to that plumber by doing that?
And so it was, it's just been a great reminder for me that we've got to continue to lead. In every situation like that, I'm not saying it's easy cause it's not. And I'm not saying I've always done it. Right. Cause I haven't. But it was just a good opportunity that God was showing me to continue to allow the Holy spirit to lead and mold my character, even in times like this.
Tony: So, yeah. And now how many employees do you have or contractors do you have that are working for you, John?
John: Across all of our, all of our, we have six companies. So across the family of companies, we have about 220 employees and we probably have three, 4,000 subcontractors that work for us. Yeah.
Tony: So it's a, it's a massive organization, right?
John: God's blessed us. That's for sure.
Tony: Let me ask you this. What's it like being a Christian CEO, right. And, and, you know, and not, I'm sure not all of your employees are Christian or not. All of your subcontractors are Christian and you you're. You're. You've kind of got this broad kind of sweeping appeal in the way that you do things.
How, how do you delineate yourself as a Christian CEO and really embody that servant leadership?
John: You know, one of the things that, so I've got a book coming out called helping people find their way home. And one of the stories that's in there is about a plumber. It's so funny is that that's actually what I've been dealing with this week.
And I never even thought about that until you asked this question was literally this plumber was the guy that impacted my life, probably as much as anybody and how he impacted my life was every Sunday. He was actually my Sunday school teacher, believe it or not years, the crazy life that I had lived, where my, you know, I was 11, my brother was 15 and my parents got a divorce and left us there to basically live on our own.
And so from that point, my brother started raising me. And by the time I was 16, I was living by myself. But I say that to say every Sunday, even when I really wasn't fully devoted follower of Christ every Sunday, when I would go to church, I remember that guy. Standing at the back door and asking me to sit with his family fast forward a few years later.
Now I never did when he asked me that, but fast forward a few years later, and the crazy part was I ended up getting to go to work for him. Yeah. So I got to do some plumbing, believe it or not. And, but what stuck out to me the most is that I learned, and I really didn't recognize it until years later, but really what this guy was so great at was loving people where they work.
So often God reminds me of the woman at the well where Jesus just went to her. He just started talking to her. He just started asking her questions where she was. And that's what I love about what we get to do is that literally I get to live life with these people every day. If I, if you think about Psalms 24, one, none of these are mine.
None of these businesses are mine. My life's not my own. The finances God has given us none of it's ours. And so Psalm 24 one says the earth and everything in it, including its people are God's. And so I love that because really that takes all the pressure off of me because since I don't, I don't have to make anything happen.
You know, God is the owner. And all he's asking me to do is steward well, what he's given me to steward and steward to the best of my ability. But the word stewardship actually means managing somebody else's estate. That's really all I'm doing. And so if I look at that, all of a sudden, now these people that we get to work with and we get to interact with on a daily basis, I hope every one of them are believers, but then there's a whole nother shot of me that hopes they're not because they have an opportunity to reach them.
Right. So I don't know what percentage of our people are believers and what part aren't, because I just know I've got to love them all, where they are. And if they don't know Christ, maybe they'll see something different in us that will make them want to know Christ, which we see happen all the time. But then if they are Christ followers, maybe I can learn something from them.
They can learn something from me. And as a body of believers, we can actually try to walk in that oneness that Jesus talks about in John chapter 17 as Christ followers. If we could walk in such oneness. With God and with each other, people will see Jesus in us. And so again, we're a long way from perfect.
But what motivates me and gets me up out of bed every day. You know, we just believe the businesses that God has given us all six of them literally are just the vehicles that God is using force to reach people and get the kingdom. So.
Tony: I love that parallel between the woman at the well and the plumber, because it's interesting, right?
If, if in the parallel, the plumber and the back of the church is a lot like Jesus, then you get to be the woman at the well, and the woman at the Wells story is the one that really impacted the whole city, right? Tons of people come to Christ because of her story. And now here we are, years later after.
That plumber had impacted you and our prayer and this new resource that you're putting out is that concept, people will hear this story and come to know Christ differently because of, of what you've written. And I think that's, I love that parallel for you. And that's a prayer that we can all pray together.
You know, as you think about decision-making, whether it be this week with the. The weather that Texas has having, or the pandemic, or just, you know, knowing, knowing. How to live on your own since you know, 11, how do you go about your godly decision-making process? Get, get practical with us, you know, when you're up against a tough moment, a character litmus test moment.
What's your metrics of, okay. How do I make a good decision here?
John: Yeah, so we, we actually, across our family of companies, we actually follow a couple processes, a wine, you know I have to start my day with prayer. Well, I literally have to, I'm not telling you, I can't give myself that option because if I'm being real with you and with all your listeners years ago, and I shared this in the book as well, man, I didn't even know how growing up by myself or with my brother and that journey that the Lord had us on that literally the success that we saw during that time in our life as young men created this sense of greed inside me.
That took years for God to get out of, to get out of my heart. And so to this day, that's still a temptation that I still have to put myself on guard on that even me, myself and my wife, we literally get a salary for what we do, because we believe that everything that we have is God's love. And so God, how much do you want to pay me to do your work?
And so that's how we operate. And so I say all that to say, is that the D the way I make my decisions is I have to start my day in prayer and I have to start my day in the word now, am I saying I do that seven days a week? I'd love to say I do, but I really try to make it a point that I'm going to do five days a week, because if I don't my whole attitude.
My thought process begins to change. And the reason why I say that's where I start is because I've got to walk in the spirit to the best of my ability, because then what we do on a practical basis when we get to the office is, is that all of a sudden we realize we're going to make the best, the best business decision possible as a, as an executive team and a leadership team.
This is what I tell our staff all the time. We're gonna make the best business decision possible, unless God tells us to do something different. And then even if God tells us to do something different, that's when we're going to bring our executive team back together. When you yo guys, we got to pray about this.
We got to get a word from God because we're gonna make the best wisest decision possible, unless we know God is telling us to do something else. And I, I don't trust myself to make that call by myself. I trusted them that God brought them onto my team and into my life to not only help us further his call.
But to also help protect me and to protect them. So that's really how we do it now on a leadership side. But the thing we teach is that we have to lead with love. Right? First Corinthians 14 says without love, it's all meaningless. So, but love, we have to remember sometimes that's tough. Love.
Sometimes that's Hey man, I'm going to Pat you on the back and give you a hug and a high five and say you did awesome. So we lead with love. Then we lead with justice. And so that's justice for, you know, whether it's a customer or a trade, as well as the business that God has asked us to steward. And we have to weigh those out.
We have to weigh them out and be fair to both. And then the, the last one is love justice and righteousness. If I do that, Literally every day I can go home and I can put my head on my pillow and I can go to sleep and I don't have a problem because I've done the best that I can. And I'm not saying I've always done it.
Perfect. Cause I've made plenty of terrible mistakes in that, but those are kind of just, just a couple of quick tools that I used that really helped guide and direct in my life.
Tony: Well, that's really good. I really liked the practicality of that and how they both go hand in hand together. I'm curious as a CEO because decision fatigue has been real for me as a pastor, especially you know, during the pandemic, how have you seen God work in the midst of the pandemic?
What have you learned about God in the midst of it?
John: Well, man, if I can be honest, 2020 was the greatest year we've ever had by far. No kidding. Tell me more about that. Our staff blew our goals out of the water in all six. And you know, I'll, I'll use the home billing company for an example. You know, when, when COVID hit our area, the hardest or really hit, it was late March, so late March.
So where every year we go into our, our year, we have a three-year strategic plan that we always keep updated. So we're always staying three years out. Well, when March hit, all of a sudden, we had a decision to make. When COVID hit, we had asked ourselves the question, what are we doing? Are we pulling back?
Or are we staying on plan? And so I had a bunch of builders that I knew in Dallas, Fort worth man, and were pulling back. They were stopping construction on a lot of houses and different stuff like that. And I'm not saying they weren't doing what God told him to do. That's between them and God I'm just responsible for me.
So, but when I started seeing all these people, making these decisions, I was like, man, should we be doing this? Pulled all of our executive team or our top level leaders in, into the executive comp conference room and said, what do you think, guys, we literally sat there for like an hour, just talking about all these different things we should do.
And finally, I just felt like the Holy spirit spoke to me in that still small voice and said, have you ever thought about asking me what you should do? No
stress and our executive team out. And I said, this was on a Friday. And I said, guys, And ladies let's just go on, pray over the weekend, get a word from God and come back on Monday with the word. And and so that's what we did. And so when we came back on Monday unanimously, they said, God gave us a plan at the beginning before the year started.
And he told us, this is the plan I want you to follow. So don't change it. And so man, we just kept our foot on the gas and I mean, God opened up crazy doors. That we never even saw coming. So it was really, it was really cool. So, but what I will say is there were still tons of challenges all the way along the way.
And as a leader, you know, one of the things that I was just reminded of all the way through COVID is there were a lot of days I was worn out at home. You know, my dad's got leukemia. He he's been sick. He's having to, he has to be really careful. We have just other issues like that going on, that we're also trying to manage.
So we have these things in our own house. We have these things you know, my daughter was graduating from high school, so we're trying to manage her, not being able to have graduation, not being able, have prom, not being able to have all these things. My dad is sick. You know staff dealing with the same issues that we're dealing with and some of them way worse than what we were dealing with and trying to navigate all of that.
So we really had to just step back as a leader and what we, what we really chose to do was we really, we do, we started doing weekly update videos for our staff just to really drive home communication, let them know we loved them, let them know we care about them, but also let them know we're here for them, whatever you need personally.
Whatever you need as a staff. I'm not saying we can solve all your problems, but we wanna be here help you. And so we, you know the businesses did more than we ever did last year, but we also had more families that we put through counseling than we ever have before. And so just really everybody, she was staying in their lane and owning, you know, the lane that God has put them in to lead whether they're believers or whether they're not, and us doing the best that we can to support them.
And that as leaders are to set them up for success and their families, you know, because we, we teach it all the time, keep God first, your family second and work will take care of itself. And I still believe that. And I see it all the time. And so it, it helps us just stay focused on the, on the purpose of what God's called us to do as well.
So that's the funny part as a leader is. I repeat so many things that God tells me. And I think a lot of times our staff thinks that we came up with some brilliant idea and really the only reason why I'm saying this to remind myself to do it now, but I'm also being reminded. God told me to do this for a reason, candida, the leadership things that God has taught me or other leaders have taught us.
I've got to be reminded of them too every day. So if we're going to keep getting better.
Tony: Yeah, that's so good. I liked that. I liked that a lot. You mentioned your dad and his battle with leukemia. You've kind of had a tumultuous relationship with him. It looks like from, from childhood up to now.
Can you kind of give everybody a little bit your story? Cause I know you know, I've seen bits and pieces of it, but maybe you can kind of fill everybody in on, on how do you go from. Essentially being on your own at 11 to, you know, being you know, a CEO of a home building company that irony is not lost on the end and, and how all that kind of came together for, for good.
John: One of my favorite things people ask me. So like I said earlier, 11 and my brother was 15 and we ended up being on our own. We started a landscaping company or really my brother started a landscaping company. Are you and your brothers still close? We are, yeah. He lives a couple miles from me. And I mean, I love him.
He honestly, he's been a huge player of even how I'm, where I'm at today. Because if it wasn't for him and him taking care of me all those years, my life would look a lot different, I believe. So but kind of really the easiest way to kind of summarize the story of my life. Is that? Yes, we had a crazy upbringing, started a landscaping company very early.
That's actually how we paid our bills. My brother would drop me off. We'd go to work in the morning. He dropped me off at school. He would go to school. He'd pick me up after school. We'd go work some more. Once we got to the place where we really needed to make a little bit more income than that.
We started a, a janitorial company where we were cleaning office buildings at night, still going to church here and there. But honestly, if I'm being real, you know, I saw so much junk in the church. I saw when my parents got a divorce at me and all of a sudden I became an alcoholic. I become, I became the person that was living sexually immoral, all the things that had been in my family, all of a sudden now that's who I was.
And I wasn't even doing any of it. Everybody was saying, that's what I was not everybody, but a lot of people were judging us saying that's who we were. And so through that process, I basically came to this place where I had to decide I kind of felt like there were two people in the church.
There were some that were really judgmental and there were some people that really just love people where they were. And I really felt like I came to a defining moment that I could either let, I can either become one of those judgy people and enter their tribe. Or I could, I could go, I'm going to try to be a little bit more like Jesus and continue to grow and learn in that so that I can love people where they are still not perfect at it.
Let me tell you and it's been a journey for me, but that whole journey of, you know, my brother raising me till I was 16, then me living by myself just seeing, you know, infidelity in my parents' marriage. My mom became an alcoholic and overdosed while I was in Bible college. And even seeing how different people in the church and in the Christian realm reacted to that, even still in saying, man, I can't believe your mom went to hell.
Cause she killed herself. To, you know, others being, Hey, I don't even know what the answer is. You know, I just want to pray for you and seeing all those different things, man. Honestly, I just got to the place in Bible college where I was tired of Christians. Gary Church. And so I walked away from the Lord for a year.
But my wife's parents just kept loving me. And they just love me right where I was through the whole process kept inviting us to church, but not in an annoying way. And after a year of them asking us to go to church, I finally said, man, I'm so tired of hearing him, ask me that I'm just going to go.
And I said, I'm going to sit in the back of the church as soon as it's over. I'm leaving. That's what I told them now.
Tony: Wait, were you were you dating Tracy yet officially or no?
John: We were actually married.
Tony: Oh married, because she, you got married when she was 17, right? She's a senior in high school, right? Yeah.
John: Christmas break of her senior year in high school, you know that you don't hear that all the time.
Tony: Well, you know, what's interesting to me is as I was, as I hear your story, right? So they're obviously a very Christian family they're doing they're very faithful in their call and you weren't really there and yet they still get gave their blessing for you to marry their daughter.
W what do you think? I mean, what do you think that determining that the quality that they saw in you that you couldn't see in yourself was?
John: You know, from talking to them. Now in, in even a few years after we got married is I still had a heart for God. They, I still I still wanted to learn more. I just didn't know.
You know, I didn't have a personal, I think I knew Christ. But what was crazy is I grew up in a, in a church that, and I don't want to knock the church because the church is really good to me. So please know that what I know is we're all learning, we're all growing. And so even the things I teach my kids, sometimes I find out I was wrong and you have to go to them apologize.
And so I don't want anybody that's watching this to think I'm knocking the church cause I'm not. But I think what, what I began to realize and what they actually told me was is that they saw. That I had a heart after God. And what was crazy is they actually felt like the Holy spirit had spoken to them that they actually needed to take me in as one of their own and love me where I was, because they might be the only ones at this point in my life that could actually show me the love of Christ and what a family looked like.
What did it look like to be a father? What did it look like to be a mom? What did it look like to be a husband? What did it look like to be a wife? And so they did that, you know, and I honestly believe it was just the Holy spirit that enabled them to do that because I mean, this was like, you know, we've been married almost 30 years.
And there was a period of that time where they actually said, Hey, you know, we really think it's going to be best for you if you just come live with us. And we weren't even married. Now, they didn't say you could sleep in the same room. They said, y'all stayed in the house. You know, I went on but you know, say it was really good and it was just, it was amazing, you know, to think that they allowed us to get married at 17 when she was 17 and still in high school.
But that's what they felt like that they were supposed to do was just, it's still just crazy.
Tony: I actually, it really makes me feel good to hear you say that because I don't know that if I, I would, I have an eight year old daughter, I don't know that I would let her get married at 17. If it wasn't for the Holy spirit, I mean, your, your daughter's gotta be around the same age.
John: My daughter is 19 and I'm like, Heck, no, you ain't getting married, you know. I'm with you that the Holy spirit would just have to tell me.
On the other side. Cause my daughter actually told me one time, she was like, what would you do? She was actually 17. And she said, what if I came home right today and said, Hey, I think I want to marry this guy. What would you say? And I said, baby, I'm not going to beat around the Bush. I'd shake. I'd say, heck no.
You know you know, but obviously she knows I'm a mess. And with her short of, you know, it's one of those things.
Tony: It better be a word from God, because that's the only way it's going to happen.
John: Back to your original question was so there was so many things that I saw. Then I look back on that I didn't even realize God was with me and the God was leading me and God was directing me.
So you even brought the question of about my dad is that, you know, I think the majority of this book, helping people find their way home. This is that everybody has a story, every person. And sometimes it's the way we look at our story. And if we look at it in a way that's like on the defensive. We're not ever going to see what God is actually really doing in our life, but we look at it and we realize what we know, God is his first.
He's a redeeming God. And I look back at that and all those years God was chasing me, but he was also with me. Like he wasn't chasing me from a distance. He was right there. And it was when I gave my heart fully to him. And I said, God, I'm all in. But he could actually that's when that redemption process happened.
But then we actually enter into the reconciliation process. God begin to reconcile, reconcile my own heart and my own life with him. And he's going to do that forever until I stand before him and put with perfection. But what I really think that God has shown me is through this process, as we go through this reconciliation process with him in these different areas of our life, all of a sudden we see life differently.
Because what happens is God begins to restore. So you go through from redemption to reconciliation and then he can be re begin to restore those things that the enemy has stolen from us literally is what God has shown me. That my life is so many areas of my life for generations back. The enemy has stolen marriage, he's stolen finances.
He stolen wives with addiction and alcoholism and drug abuse and sexual amorality and all these things. And God was like, I just want you to allow me to reconcile those things, get you in right. Standing with me in those areas so that I can then begin to restore those. So I say all that to say, here's what's crazy today.
My dad lives across the street from me. Wow. And I love it. He is a, God has redeemed him and reconciled his life and restored him with a beautiful marriage to my step-mom of just under 30 years, you know, who has just loved us. Like we're one of her own kids, you know? So I look at that. My in-laws, they live across the street.
They live right next door to my parents. My son lives next door to me. And so what the Lord really started showing us was all those things that the enemy had stolen from our family for generations, God has given it back to us. And I honestly believe that's what he is doing across his kingdom. And I'm, I'm hoping that and believing that for everybody.
And I really believe I was praying one day and I was like, God, search my heart means, show me the sound that's in my life. Because I started seeing the good things that when I prayed and I asked God to search my heart and show me the sin that was in my life, that when I could give those to God, cause he showed them to me, man.
And he began to re, reconcile me with him in that. And then he would begin to restore that. I mean, I started going to God more and more and I still do it today. God show me the sin. That's in my heart, man, because the more I can get rid of that. No more free that I become the in what's crazy is the Lord. I really felt like the Lord spoke to me one day and he said, son, here's what I want to understand is I can't show you all your Senate at one time.
I couldn't handle him. And he said, but here's the beautiful part. I can't show you all my love at one time, either because you can't handle that. I'm going to give you a little bit of each and I'm going to, I'm going to take that, that sand out. I'm gonna take the old you out and I'm going to replace it.
With more of my love. And that is what's going to begin to restore your life. And, and man, you know, there's days where I just sit there and I get so reminded of the story of David, where he's sitting at all before the Lord and there's days, man, just all the junk can be hit in the face. And I'm like being God still just a good, good father doesn't mean stress and pressure and all that stuff.
But I just have to give it back to him and go, God, I can't do this on my own. You didn't even ask me to carry this. You need to carry it. Because I don't want to and just, you know, being reminded that God really does want us to have a full abundant life, but even if you're walking in a full abundant life today, it's only the full abundant life that you know of today.
Because as we continue to go through this redemption reconciliation restoration process, I believe God begins to show us even more, a full abundant life that God has for us that has hopes and plans and a future. So I know the enemy comes to kill steal and destroy, but I know God comes to give life and everlasting life and full abundant life.
And that's what motivates me and excites me about this book. I don't have all the answers. And I wasn't perfect in this book that, you know, finding my way home is literally just stories of my own life, of how these terrible things that I went through. But now looking back on them and reflecting on them with a different heart and a different mind, I can actually see God in the midst of all of them.
And it's just powerful.
Tony: Yeah. Yeah. So let's talk about that. I I'm, I imagine that there's one of our friends is listening right now and they're in the midst of a really dark season, you know? And they're, they, they don't even know where home is, let alone finding their way back there. Right. And so what would you say are some practical things that someone could do today to go from fear to abundance?
John: I mean, that's a good question, but it's a tough question. And if I knew the exact answer to that, Nope. I think the world would be saved right now, but from practical application for my own life, you know, there's days and times where I felt hopeless. And for me, what has really worked is, is that one I've had to get in counseling.
So I have a therapist that I go see on a regular basis, my wife and I go together. My, I go with my son just because I believe, I really believe in it, you know, I believe sometimes our perception, just like I say, in the introduction of this book, the book that we wrote is the stories from my perception and my memories.
But here's what I can tell you. My dad's my brothers and my sisters, their perception, and their memories might not be the same as mine. Right. And I love that because, and this I'm getting to a point here, the point is, is what God has shown me through. That is my perception memories. Aren't always right.
The only persons whose perceptions are right is God's. And so for me, in all honesty, the only I've really learned to do this is to go to God and say, God, like literally there's days where I'll just get in my closet, my prayer closet. And I just cry out to God and go, God, I can't take this anymore. Like I'm worn out.
I didn't ask for this. I don't even want it now. I just have to pour my heart out to God and tell him how I feel and get it all off. And then I just go, God, you're going to have, if you be my strength, you're, everyone's shield your, after you be my strong tower today. Cause I can't do it. And then I just have to remember that I can't do this journey alone, that I need other Christ followers to come alongside me.
And sometimes I've gone through many years of my life where I couldn't find one and I just had to really start praying and going, God, I really need you to bring me one. And honestly, it was a couple of years of me praying and asking God to do that. And it was in that process too, that I really encourage people to go find a good Christian counselor.
There's nothing wrong with that. It's literally just opening your heart and learning to process things a little bit different. And I'm just telling you as a CEO of six companies, we'll do over $300 million in revenue this year. And I still don't have it figured out, you know, but what I do know is I can keep crying out to God.
I can keep telling him how I feel, what I think. And I can keep studying his word and praying is seeking him to ask him to show me what the truth is. What is the right perspective? Well, I don't know if you think that's practical or not, but.
Tony: No, that's super practical. I, what I really hear you saying is that that humble posture has everything to do with what you can receive from God.
Right? If you've got closed fist, you can't receive what God has for you. And you've got, you got to open those, those hands up and get on your knees. And, and I, I love, you know, I love the fact that you got a prayer closet and, and a counselor, and those are all big staples in my life as well. Yeah. I've seen my counselor every month for the last.
Seven eight years now. And it's, it's been transformational for me. I am curious, you mentioned your son. How has, how has your relationship with your dad and, and all that you went through in this journey impacted the way that you parent your kids?
John: Yeah, I wish he was on here and he can answer that question cause they'd be like, Oh my gosh, let me tell you that's a whole nother podcast.
I think what it's really done is, is. You know, I went to Bible college, which I've said already. And because I'm such a driver personality, I really was all that check in the right boxes. I had my prayer time in the morning. I was in the word. I'm doing everything that I'm doing for God. All these businesses are his to reach people Christ and give the kingdom.
And about eight years ago, God, really seven or eight years ago through somebody else actually through a local pastor. Had a word for me that say I'm a CA, which is Romans chapter two, verse three and four out of the message version. And he says, I'm a kind guy, but I'm not a soft God kindness. I'm going to take you firmly by the hand and lead you to radical life change.
And basically what that word was. And this is years after I've been following the board feeling like I was doing everything he was telling me to do and what God ended up through, even through my pastor. Cause I w my pastor is one of my best friends. Cause he was a youth pastor when we met and we've just kind of grown up together.
And man, I just love him, love doing life with him. And so I just really him and I really started praying my wife and I inhale and started praying. And just what does God's saying? And really what God showed me was in all honesty, I was condemning manipulating father and husband. And so incredibly humbled.
But I love that verse because it says I'm a kind, God, which means I love you, but I'm not a soft guide, which means I'm not gonna let you keep getting away with where you're living, but in kindness, in other words, because I love you. I'm going to lead you where I want you to go if you'll follow me. And so through that, I say that, you know, my son's perception of me as a father and my daughter's perception, because my son is, the oldest are probably significantly different.
Because I actually kind of, because of the way I had been raised and even in the church world back then, it was man, you did what I'm telling you to do. I'm going bust you, you brought Heights. And so that's the way I looked at God. I was like, I got to do what God's telling me to do, or he's going to bust me and throw.
So through that process, what God showed me was is that I didn't know, I couldn't love my wife and I couldn't love my kids. And I couldn't love other people because I didn't know. God's love. So I had to go almost back to ground zero and just start really praying and seeking God and going, God, show me your love.
I don't know your, what does that even mean? And when God really started showing me that he is just kind, you know he's merciful, he's gracious. You know, he, he wants us to know there's times where he just wants us to come sit in his lap and he wants to put his arms around us and just hold us. He doesn't want us to go do anything.
You know. And so through that process, it radically changed the way that I parent because, and I honestly, yeah, I'd done a lot of it wrong. I told my kids and my wife, they knew everything I didn't want to do that. They didn't know why I didn't want to do it. And they didn't know why I just loved him for who they were, you know?
So I hope that answers your question.
Tony: Yeah, no, I think that's spot on, right? You're you're talking about the difference between intentional Christian parenting and, and discipling or just parenting, you know, and, and you can do both and still have, you know, fairly Functional adults, but it's, it's a lot different when you're intentional about the disciple-making and the Christian parenting and, and the, and like you said, the love is different.
The love is different, so that's really good. Now you, you mentioned that your, your wife is also in the, in the family business. Are your kids also in the family business?
John: So my wife is the CIO and our he's he actually just finished writing his first book. He hadn't published it yet, but he's done the draft.
He's an incredible writer. Well, that's again, killer. Yeah. So he actually works on with our, we have a company that actually does create material and does, so he works with them and yeah, so it's awesome. Having him with us.
Tony: Yeah. So w what's it like? I, I asked that because my wife and I have been married, we just celebrated 18 years of marriage.
So we're, we're a little bit behind you guys, high school, sweetheart, just like you, what's it like working with your spouse and, and now your son as well? Like what, what do we need to know about working with family? Good, bad nuggets.
John: And....
Tony: The wife is going to hear that. I didn't say that, Tracy, that was not me. That was all Johnny.
John: Our therapist says, you guys realize you've created one of the hardest marriages that there is to navigate. Yeah. And, and I, you know, I think Honestly, like having our son here is huge for me. I love it. Now. I want him to go do whatever God tells him to do, but I do love having him.
He's 23. And one of the reasons why I love having him here is because he's a different generation dude. They got questions about the word of God. They've got, they've got things we fought for years and never asked. And I love it that they'll actually ask them and we can actually process that. Talk about it together.
But he brings a different perspective to what we do in the business. And I love that my wife, you know and I I've told her this is that, you know, one of my biggest regrets as a husband is that I took being the spiritual leader completely wrong. And this is, this is in the book as well. And it, when, what my perception of.
Being the spiritual leader of the house was basically you do what I tell you to do and we'll be good. Right? Well, what I didn't know until my mom who actually wasn't even a believer at the time said, John, she says she used to call me Johnny. And she said, Johnny, I want to tell you something. If you don't quit treating your wife the way you're treating her in 20 years, you're going to look up and she's not going to be here because she's not going to want to, because you're not valuing her for who she is and what she brings to the table.
And so, you know, that didn't really fully hit me until years later. Really what I began to understand was my gift. And we talk about this in the book. I'm very much a visionary But what's crazy is we've been married almost 20 years before I realized how incredibly gifted and talented my wife was with the detail.
If I would have taken the vision, shared it with her in more with full transparency of here's, what God is saying. Will you pray about it and see what the details that God gives you? We would be three times further than we are today. So 10 years ago, that's what God really started showing me was what have I gifted her?
And to remember that, you know, scripture is very clear that we're to love our wives as Christ loves the church, but God really started showing me that, that, that passage just, it doesn't end there. You know, it actually says, you know, we should be washing them, widest, washing them, preparing them to stand before Christ.
That's a whole nother level of just loving them as Christ loved us. Right. That's another responsibility we have as husbands. And so when I really started recognizing that it's part of my role as a husband, to know who she is in Christ to help prepare her and lift her up. To be the woman of God that God has called her to be.
And you know, what's crazy about it is since I have started doing that. And I'm not, I tell her all the time, baby, when I'm having a PA doing a podcast or something like that, please know, I'm not saying I'm a wasted, I'm sending you still learning, but what's crazy about it is do you know who benefits off of that?
What's crazy is, is she does for sure. But I'm like, man, my life is so much better. More fulfilling. We're healthier as a couple. We're healthier as a family. And I'm like, how did I, how did nobody ever tell me this? You know, so I love that though, because I just look at that and I'm like, man, when she was, she was 15 years old.
When we started dating, we got married at 17. I had no clue how smart she was, how gifted she was, what an incredible woman of God she was And how naive I was at. It took me that long to figure it out, you know? So,
Tony: I always love to ask couples who are a little bit ahead of us on the journey. Do you guys have any rhythms that you do as a couple in order to stay connected to God together?
I mean, I, I know that you've got some word in prayer rhythms, but what about you two as a couple and any, any good tips?
John: Well, we, I mean, we all, we both have our own prayer times in the morning. But very frequently, you know, usually three times a week or so we'll come together and go, Hey, what is, God's speaking to you?
God's speaking to me, will you pray about that too? And let's see what God is telling us. And so we bounce that off each other. And the other thing that, that that we do, you know, you mentioned working together but I think it's really helped us, even in areas we don't work together. But one of the things that we found is when we're, when we know we're going to go into a meeting together, You know, we might even be meeting with another couple together.
We actually sit and try to sit down and actually talk about that and try to set some parameters on. And I call her baby, I say, okay, baby, what do you feel like is going to come out of that? So what is your role in this meeting? What is my role in this meeting? So we can honor each other in that and not step on each other's feet.
You know, and then it looks like we're divided and we just need, so just taking even three to five minutes and having that conversation before you go into a meeting like that, you know, really allows me to hear what she has to say. It allows her to hear what I've got to say and allow both of us to know who's going to speak up.
And when, you know so that we don't, we don't cut each other off or whatever, and we're not perfect at it, but that's our, it helps us a lot.
Tony: That's so good. I love that. And what I really hear, and when you talk about your wife and your relationship is that word honor there. And I think that that is something that we can all kind of lean into a little bit more in our, at least I can I'll make I statements here.
I can definitely, you know, my wife is such an incredible godly woman, but honoring that a little bit more as what I really hear. So thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I really do appreciate it's.
John: It's it's very cool to see that play out in their life.
Tony: So one of the questions I always love to ask people is, is let's say that we're at a year from now and we're, we're on the call together.
What are we celebrating about what God has done through this writing?
John: So one of the things that I hope people take away from, from this book finding my way home is that we all have a story. Do you, if you read Romans chapter four, the message version, it basically breaks it down and says, you know, when Abraham quit doing things his way and did them, God's way everything changed.
And you know, so what I would be celebrating is, is I, I tell our, our team that's working on this with me, from marketing to the SEO people to publisher. I mean, I want to go into this to plan on selling a hundred thousand copies. I know that the average book sells, I think they told me 2,600 and I said, but here's what I want you to understand.
We're going to set it up and we're going to have a, we're going to plan for a hundred thousand copies because if only one person. Reads the book and it changes their life. And they see the hope that, that we can share the hope that basically is as first Peter three, 15 and 16, it says always be prepared to give a word for the hope that is within you.
If people can just hear the hope that is within me and why it actually impacts their life, where now they can their own life and their own story differently and see the hope that is in it, even though it might've been terrible. Man, dude, if we sell one copy and it impacts that person, that way they that's what I'm going to be celebrating.
If I get one email, one phone call that somebody says, dude, this changed my whole life. And now I see God in a different way. I'm going to be, I'm going to be thrilled.
Tony: Well, I know that my a lot of my friends who are listening right now love to pray. And so I'm going to ask them right now just to, to pause the podcast and say a quick prayer that God will do that in this writing.
And that it will be an amazing testimony for, for what God can do in, in, through not just your story, but everyone's story. Cause that's really, that's really what I hear. I also know that my, my friends are to want to pick up a copy of the book and follow you on the interwebs. Where is the best place to learn all things, John?
John: Yeah, the best place is meet John houston.com. So that to meet John houston.com, you can go ahead and pre-order the book there now, or you can pre-order the book on Amazon. And that's the best way to connect with us.
Tony: Are you are you on on the gram or Facebook or any of those places? If people want to connect with you directly on Facebook?
John: We're on Instagram. We're on LinkedIn. So we're yeah, we're on all the major social media sites.
Tony: That's great. I love that. Okay. Last question. I always love to ask people. It's an advice question and it's about going back to give yourself one piece of advice and a, except I like to take you a very specific time in your story.
So if you could go back and talk to the young version of John first, Sunday, where you sit in that back row of church for the very first time after being gone for a year. What's the one piece of advice that you would give yourself on the journey God's about to throw you on.
John: You know, I think it would be just follow the Lord every day and enjoy the joy, enjoy the journey and the life God has given you where you are. And don't try to get ahead of yourself and don't try to get ahead of God. Just enjoy where he has you right now, and just really learn to bask in his presence. Can be thankful. You know, it's one of my favorite passages in the Bible where Jesus teaches us how to pray.
And he says, hallowed, be thy name as I still to this day, start off. That my prayer every day, that way I reminding myself of who God is and that I love him for who he is, all those things, my savior, my God, my friend, and my father, my provider, my healer, all those things that he is, you know, and just thanking him for being all that and even getting specific, saying, God, thank you for the wife.
You've given me. Why am I thankful for that? And I tell him, thank you for the son. You've given me because it's such, it's so re so reminds me that, you know, God created us for relationship with him because he loves us. No, he gave us a choice because he wanted us to choose. We have the opportunity to enter into relationship with him and know his goodness and his love.
So just, I guess it's, it's that, and it's just, don't overcomplicate this, this life that we live. Keep it, keep it simple, take it a day at a time and really just enjoy, enjoy the moment, enjoy where God has you. And honestly, that's been a very, very, because I didn't do that for so long. It's been a huge process of me having to learn how to do that in, in learning.
How do I walk in joy? That joy is, it's really a decision I make. It's not a feeling I have. It's a, I choose to walk in joy. You know, I choose to walk in love. I don't always, I want to wrap my arms around my wife and give her a big kiss there's days where I'm frustrated, but I still choose to love her because I value her.
And just to be reminded that that's what God wants us to do with him. And he does that with us.
Tony: John. That is so good. It's so wise, it's the perfect place to end. Thank you so much for being so generous with your time today. Thank you for being so vulnerable with your story, and I'm just praying for what God is going to do through you and through this.
John: Thanks, man. I didn't sure it's an honor to be here and I really appreciate the time and I'm going to actually be praying for you and praying for your in fact. Can I do that? Can I pray for you real quick? Yeah, that'd be awesome. Jesus, God, we love you. Thank you so much for Tony and his wife and their family.
God, I pray that you would just pour a double and a triple portion of your Holy spirit out upon them and bless everything. They do. God. I pray that every listener God, that is listening to this God God, if they leave with anything, God let them leave. God filling your love, guide your kindness upon their lives.
God and God give them that hope God, that only comes from you and slow. We love you. We thank you for the opportunity to serve you in Jesus name. We pray. Amen.
Tony: Amen.
See, I told you what a great conversation with John. I love the way he talks about staying faithful at home and his priorities. God, family work, reconciliation restoration.
You know, there's so many good nuggets in here. I hope you wrote, wrote it down. Hope you share this episode with a friend, don't forget to hit that subscribe button. And and we'll continue to see what God's going to do through all of you. And through this platform, it's just been such a tremendous blessing to be on this journey with all of you.
Next week episode is, is with mercy me basis. Nathan Kochard Nathan comes to me on this interview from his log cabin. We had such a great dialogue. I know you're going to enjoy it. To make sure you don't miss it, hit that subscribe button and I'll connect with you guys real soon.
