#248: Johnny Sirpilla: Life is Hard but I'll be OK!
Johnny Sirpilla is an entrepreneur, author, and speaker. In our conversation, we talk about what it means to deal with grief, adoption, and stepping away from something good for something great.
https://www.spiritandtruth.life/
https://www.instagram.com/twmilt
Links:
Website: https://www.encourage33.com/ or https://johnnysirpilla.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnnysirpilla/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JohnnySirpilla/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/johnnysirpilla
EP. 248
Tony: [00:00:00] Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Reclamation Podcast, where our goal is to help you reclaim good practices for following Jesus. If we haven't met yet, my name is Tony and I'm your host with over a decade in the local church. I care deeply and passionately. About helping you connect with Jesus in practical ways.
Today's conversation was a doozy. Johnny Zilla wants you to know that life is hard, but it'll be okay. In our conversation today, we talk about the loss of his triplets. We talk about how not to let a good crisis go to wastes, and we talk about so much more if this conversation. Uplifting to you. If it helps you in any way, do me a favor.
Hit that subscribe button wherever you listen to podcasts and share this episode with a friend. Maybe somebody who you know is going through crisis.
Guys, I think you're really gonna love Johnny's heart and his [00:01:00] experience. He's a, a former CEO of camping World. Just a really smart guy who wants to help you deal with crisis. So now let's jump into the conversation. Johnny, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. You've got an incredible story and I can't wait to share it with the world. Now you're in Naples, Florida, is that right?
Johnny: That is right.
Tony: It's better than Ohio, even though you're a born Buckeye and live in the Canton area.
So I have to ask this question right outta the gate. Are you Browns or beng?
Johnny: You know, born and raised an hour south of Cleveland. Although my boys are Pittsburgh Steelers fans, oh,
Tony: out of all the answers, how about that ?
Johnny: I know. How about that? Maybe just lost part of your audience right there, Tony. I don't know, but truth be.
Tony: I love it. Well, grace is abundant. And o one of the areas that [00:02:00] I, I love to start in is, it's kind of even more macro than this is kind of talking about your calling.
And so h how would you describe the calling that God's placed on your life? You've done a lot of different things from being an entrepreneur to now what you do with encourage an author, speaker. How would you describe what God has you. .
Johnny: So I think what God has me doing, Tony especially at this stage of my life right now is, is sharing the gifts that he gave me of logic and communication.
And so I feel that, you know, at, at one time when I was an accounting major and worked in accounting in my early years and was really a numbers guy and then. Grew in, in business and leadership into having family business and then growing into the national stage of having thousands and thousands of employees.
You know, I, I kind of felt like I lost my identity, that I wasn't the accounting guy anymore. I wasn't the mergers and acquisition guy anymore. I was the leader. And I [00:03:00] think that's really where God has called me. Landon B is to share the gift of logic that he's given me and to see situations and to see challenges in ways to look at things differently.
And he is placed in my life the opportunity for me to learn from the benefits of free will that he gave us. When things go wrong you know, I don't say that God caused the problems in my life the free will that he has given us. Free will happened and then God was there for us when it did happen.
And he's really put on my heart very heavy. And as I wrote my book to tell our story is to let people know that. I have a story to, to share and to talk about what God's put on my heart and how I look at hard times and how it's brought me closer to him and the, the tougher the times, the closer we were, and even seeing that in the next generation in our kids, how they feel about their faith.
Tony: [00:04:00] Yeah, that's, I, I love that idea about logic and, and being able to, to look through a certain kind of lens. I, I do wonder in your thoughts, do you think logic is something that can be taught? Or is it one of those things that is both gifted and taught, or h how do you develop a good logic because as they say, common, Really isn't that common anymore.
And so I'm kind of curious if there's somebody out there listening, how would you encourage them to develop in that thought process?
Johnny: Well, I'll tell you what, if you're a parent right now and you're, and you're raising a child that is combative at times, but they come back at you with some good logic know that, I think that is, God puts that in us.
You know, my mom used to say when I was five years old and. Challenge my parents on something. She and my, and both my parents were very type a strict driven, faith-driven people. But she would say to my dad, you know, John, don't, you know, try to [00:05:00] force him into submission always, cuz his logic is really good what he's saying.
He's not wrong in what he's saying. I know it's not what you want to hear, but there's some logic there. And so, . God gave that to me. And, and I used that and it was interesting that my mom always remembered that from me on the age of five to, as I grew up and found myself in situations where logic was needed and, you know, use that logic, she would always say, you always had that in you.
So I would say that it is in some of us more than others, but then, . I can't say, I wouldn't say that you can teach logic, but I think you can foster it, right? Mm-hmm. , you could get someone you can get your child or get an adult that you're dealing with to kind of follow a stream of thoughts and look for the connectedness or the disconnectedness in it, and that outcome is logic.[00:06:00]
And so I think my parents really fostered that in me over the years. Absolutely to use the gifts I had and then allow me to actually convey that and talk about it and share it. My parents allowed that, so they fostered it then as well.
Tony: Yeah, I love that. And, and yet there's also in your story, there's a, a seemingly kind of boldness to some of the moves that you've made along the way, right?
So you, you know, like you mentioned you had a family business, you took it national, and now you've kind of stepped away from that and doing what you're doing with Encourage. One of the questions that I love to ask people is this idea about how, you know, when it's time to change seasons. Like how do you hear God's voice in the midst of all.
Johnny: Oh, that's such a cool question because for me the voice was really loud and it was a voice that I was hearing and I was taking an action that was the wrong action. And so Oh wow. [00:07:00] Where I realized that I had to change my seat. Tony was on my 50th birthday. It was the day of our I p o, so we took the company public after 15 years of work and the morning on the stock exchange floor.
I was hearing it's time to go and I was thought that just my anxious tendency that I have that I was nervous. It was on a Friday. My son was a high school quarterback. Friday night lights was that night. I was worried about my flight, not making it in time to get home for the game. And, and that's really, you know, spending my 50th birthday watching my son play football was a dream, right?
So I was gonna be a great, great. And so I left the New York Stock Exchange floor while all the fanfare and hoopla was still going on, like at nine 30 in the morning for a three o'clock flight. I did not need, I had a half hour trip to the airport, but I just kept hearing it, you know, you gotta go. And then sitting at [00:08:00] the airport, it was still on my heart.
It's time to go. And that's when I realized that God really put it on me, that it was time to go from the company. It was time to go from that season in my life. And I had a hard time discerning, am I just hearing this? Because it's my 50th birthday and it's this milestone age and it's a new decade. My dad got sick in his fifties with cancer and so, you know, were, were there all these other thoughts playing in there.
And it really was, God put him really clear in my heart there's other things that I need you to do. And so I say that, you know, retiring was the most selfish thing I've ever done in my career. . My wife does not call me retired at all. So I, I've changed that, did not use that term. And I say repurposed and I was repurposed in my fifties to really be where God needed me to be doing the work that he needed me to do.
In, in business, in volunteer work, in leadership, in public, speaking, in [00:09:00] any facet of my life. In writing my book, it gave me the time to write the book. And so You know, I'm a big believer in seasons of life and it was time for a new season. And the hard thing was the financial side of me said, I don't wanna change seasons.
I like this season. You know, in an executive role in, in a large, multi-billion dollar company, I don't wanna leave that season. That was an awesome season. And so, , boy, there's, there's times when you just know that your work is done somewhere and it's time for other things, and, and they may be as financially lucrative or they may not be.
And I was blessed to have that decision to be able to, independent of the finances, decide where I was meant to. .
Tony: Yeah. I wonder if we could drill down on that a little bit cuz I, I think that there's probably a lot of people listening who are, feel like God might be calling them into a [00:10:00] new season.
That's one of the things that I hear a lot from our listeners. What, what kind of your process you go through when you're making a big life altering decision like this. Are there any kind of words of wisdom or things that you learned along the way? Any any systems or tools that you're like, yes, you have to do that in order to make it work?
Or what are your thoughts on how, how do we know when we're making, we're saying the right? Yes.
Johnny: So I, as I mentioned earlier, I have anxiety, right? And so I'm a warrior. I've always been a warrior. And, and really, As a parent became worrying to a whole new degree. And so what I've learned to do is use that to my favor, and I haven't made a lot of big mistakes in life because of my anxiety, my tendency to worry.
I always have to play out four to five chess moves out so I can see what's happening out there in all these different [00:11:00] scenarios. And then I play those different scenarios. Out to say, can I accept that and can I live with that? And so that's how I believe that you're best served. When you feel that there's a need for a seasonal change and you feel that because it's, it keeps hitting on your heart, right?
It's in our thoughts. I'm, I'm interested in that opportunity over there or that job. Or that relationship, whatever it might be, or that purpose, that vision that you're, you're getting drawn to something, you take a little time and, and start playing out. What do the circumstances look like if you go down that path?
And so I did each of those chess moves and then did exponentially the next chess move. Okay? So if on this path, path A, if I go down that. What's the first, Jeff? Smooth, second, third, fourth, fifth. And I kind of play that out. And I did that with a various number of scenarios, including staying exactly where I was and then asking yourself those same questions.[00:12:00]
How do I feel about faith in my life? How do I feel about my relationship with Christ right now? How do I feel about my finances? How do I feel about the energy I'm bringing into my household? Have that same set of questions and then ask them. along each scenario A, B, C, D, and E. And then ask them again in each of those chess moves out, if you will, a one, A two, a three, you know, do that in each scenario and kind of chart your answers.
And from there you decide the game of Wayne. Because there's, I think, oftentimes not just a clear, clear winner, because there's gonna be winners in some of the questions. Maybe the finances are better winner. Category B. But then the prayerful faithful side is better in category A. So, so then you have to start weighing those and, you know, a real thoughtful exercise on it before you change [00:13:00] seasons.
Invest the time and energy into that process.
Tony: Yeah. One of the things that my counselor talks about sometimes, Is that sometimes the most healing thing we can do is let all of our worst fears play out in our head, and then mm-hmm. , you know, just kind of come to the realization that even, even on the other side of the worst fear is something that can be pretty manageable.
Is that, is that pretty close to the idea of what you're kind of talking about?
Johnny: Absolutely, because it, it's natural for me, the worst fear is not my last thought. For me, it's my first. Yeah. Right. And so when you, when you have an anxious mind, or as I've called myself an active thinker it, you know, I go to that worst place right away.
And so when I get there, I always ask, have to ask myself, is this as bad as I thought it was gonna be, number one And number two, how likely is this scenario at all to even play out? Usually what I [00:14:00] found in the latter question is, , the improbability was so high that it was a complete waste of energy to be there, and the only reason I was there was because of anxious thoughts.
But I also like to go there and kind of dip your toe in there a little bit so that you have a sense for how that feels. Because one of the things that that has done for me is helped me understand that I realize that I have no longer focused on. What feels good, because what I know in that bad feeling is that nothing feels as good as that bad feeling feels.
And so then that takes me away from those pleasures that you think, oh, this will be better. This is a better dopamine rush and this is a better short term fix, or whatever that might be. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna pass on that right away cuz nothing will feel as good as. That badly feels. And so I always tell people [00:15:00] when, if someone says, don't let your mind go there.
I say, no, let your mind go there. Understand what that is like, even if it's just in thought so that you can be sure that you don't take actions and steps and walk towards that.
Tony: Yeah, I, I think I agree with that. I, I often say that my emotions aren't qualified to make decisions that they, they only exist to be.
But if we don't feel them, then eventually they'll end up deciding everything for us. And so, yeah, it's, it's a really interesting conundrum. I, I am curious, you know, you, you, you wrote this book, life is Hard, but it will be okay. And it's, it's full of your story and it's full of grief. And, and, you know, I would encourage people to pick up a copy of the book, but you, you talk about the loss of your triplets.
You, you talk about all sorts of, kind of the, the gamut of your journey. I'm interested kind of in a different thought process in terms of what was it like for you to write this book? As an active [00:16:00] thinker because I, I would kind of identify that way as well. And the, the hardest part about a book is that it's reliving all of those emotions and memories and thoughts and you're so intimate and you're so vulnerable in the book.
What was that process like for you?
Johnny: You know, and as you would expect someone to say was cathartic, right. I'm not, that's the first thing that I think anyone that goes through that deep dive of emotion would tend to say. . But what I found really interesting in it, Tony, for me, was that as I was writing, I had affection and empathy for that couple that I was writing about.
Hmm. And realizing then that that was us. Wow. And so, you know, as we, we age, past a difficult time in our lives or experience in our lives, in some ways, I think for me that I, and I haven't expressed it this way before, but it's just said to me pretty clearly [00:17:00] now, I think I had frozen time as, as that 28 year old couple in the tragedy that hit us.
And, and so that couple stayed right there. And then Johnny and Susan continued to age and grow past that. And as I wrote the book, I felt badly for that couple. while having to accept the fact that that is us. Hmm. And it isn't that couple as if in other people it is us. And so I had a, a great appreciation for us and for what we did.
I, I realized in reflection back how ridiculous our story was. How unbelievable it was. I realized how difficult it was for the people that loved us in our faith group and our family. We are very close faith group from church that for 30 years about a [00:18:00] dozen couples we've been together and just we're all godparents for each other's kids.
Incredibly close with each. Best friends. Our kids are best friends. I mean, it's literally this utopian, faith-filled community that we've created. And it's really cool now to see as our kids are getting married them wanting to replicate that in their relationships in their faith journey and with their spouse and introducing their spouse, their new spouse to their family of all these aunts and uncles that are not.
Related by marriage or by blood, but by faith. And, and so it's a, it's a really cool, cool thing. But I realized how hard it was for them in our journey as well to support us and be hopeful for us when hope was. You know, a long lost emotion and thought in many cases and when it didn't seem to be possible.
And so, you [00:19:00] know, I just look back with a lot of gratitude for the perseverance that we had. You know, we never thought about giving up through the fight to become parents. But boy am I glad that we didn't, because you know, what we've experienced now with the three kids that we've raised is so amazing and, and we are probably on the blades of a number of times, but that young couple didn't give up.
Tony: Man, I have so many questions I want to ask you, but before I take another step, I wanna make sure that we give a shout out to the, the local church that supported you in all of this. I'm such a big fan of the local church. What's the name of the church in Canton? If somebody's looking for a church up there?
Johnny: Yeah. St. Michael, the Arch, arch Angel they started a faith formation that another couple and Susan and I started and they were calling them small faith groups. And so you were, you know, meant to get together to have. You know, Bible study. [00:20:00] And what we laughed about at some point into it was, why are we calling this a small faith group?
I mean, this is a big faith group. I mean, we have big faith and we have big issues that we're tackling and trying to understand scripture and challenge each other to live what our beliefs were as Christians. And so it was a really life-changing. For, for all of us in the group. I mean, there, there are humans that are alive today in that faith group because couples opened themselves up to God sending them more children when they said, we're done having kids and we don't wanna have more kids.
And they took, you know, God out of that equation and they made that decision. There are a number of kids today that are in college and outta college that are a result. , those faith group conversations challenging that. And so what God had in store for us for gifts versus what we wanted to
Tony: receive.
Hey guys,
Johnny: just pausing this conversation with Johnny to remind you [00:21:00] that the Reclamation podcast is
Tony: part of the Spirit and Truth Podcast, network, spirit, and Truth is a
Johnny: ministry designed to help equip
Tony: the
Johnny: local church for more information or to get connected,
Tony: go to Spirit and truth.life Spirit and truth.life.
so thankful for all the people who continue to support the ministry and make this podcast possible. Now let's finish up the conversation. That's beautiful. You know, I, I, I keep thinking about your marriage and that early season of your life, and obviously the community is a big part of that, but I imagine right now there's some young couples who are either, Engulfed in grief or feel hopeless.
And if, if, after kind of this process of looking back at that younger version of you and Susan what, what advice would you give someone who's in the thick of it right now? Or maybe they're, they're suffocated in grief or, or just feel lost. What, what are some things that they can [00:22:00] do practically to take that next, right.
Johnny: perfect question. It my, my immediate answer is, don't let a good crisis go to waste. Hmm. And so, you know, to feel everything that you're feeling, whether it's a financial crisis, it's young bankruptcy, it's career challenges, it is challenges in your marriage, challenges in your families, and whatever it could be, don't let that crisis go to waste, especially in terms of creating opportunity.
for you as a couple to grow together in the same direction. And we were given that the night before the funeral we were given that advice by an acquaintance couple that showed up at our doorstep that had lost a child at birth and came to us to, wanted to see us before the calling hours and they were gonna be at the funeral.
But they wanted time with us alone before that formal grieving process started with a public act of a funeral, and they [00:23:00] talked to us about the importance of our marriage and our relat. And we really saw Tony that we, you know, had something to build our relationship upon, not something to destroy our relationship.
The statistics of couples that end in divorce after the loss of a child. It's ridiculous. It's last number I heard was in the seventies. It's a high percentage. They twisted that thought for us and said, use this to cement your relationship together. And that's exactly what we knowingly, willingly and intentionally did.
And from that point, our kids say that they're a little disadvantaged because their parents' relationship is so strong they don't have experience of. , their mom and I fight. We're we're not fighters with each other because what we live through together and the pain that I saw in my wife, [00:24:00] there's no way I can't hurt her after, I can't forget that girl.
That number one almost died. But number two went through so much for us. There's, there's no desire I have or need that I have that trumps that measure that. It just doesn't. It is, it's so crystal clear to me, and so I've never forgotten her in that. And it's made our relationship better. And so for Nicholas, Mary and Peter, our triplets that died 28 years ago, they have a huge part in the successful marriage that their parents have as a result of their life, their brief life, and their.
and you talk about, you know, a purposeful life. We all want purpose in our lives and, and I don't judge their purpose by the time that they were alive. I judge it on the impact and the impact that they made on our [00:25:00] relationship. Married 32 years now, the impact that they made on their future siblings relationships, because of the way that our family was cemented together they changed the course of our lives for the.
In every way possible. And so the purpose and significance that they played, we don't know who we are as a family of five today. Without that first family of five, I don't even know where we would be.
Tony: Yeah, that's that's beautiful. I, yeah, I really appreciate that. And I, I like the the. The really great illustration of the idea of being cemented together. You, you guys have obviously been through a lot and in addition to the triplets, right, you, you've led a major corporation you're. , your wife probably has to put up with a lot of distractions as an active thinker, much, much like my wife does.
. So one of the questions that I love to ask faithful, happily married couples [00:26:00] are, what are some of the disciplines that, you know, you kind of keep your marriage strong, keep you going? What are some of the things that you're like, man, when it comes to my marriage, these are the non-negotiable.
Johnny: So I'm gonna give you an answer there, Tony, that I think might be counterintuitive to some people or some people may even disagree with. But the non-negotiable for our marriage is that, of course God comes first. But that kind of, I am third principal and then our kids were there. We realized that that season.
Of, you know, birth to going off to college and beyond. Our kids today are 23, 25 and 27, but we, we both had a non-negotiable that created a happy home for those kids with stability, with faith, with a work ethic, with integrity. That was [00:27:00] job one for us, and Susan and I, I think did a good job while. sharing that mission, not having to say, Hey, we need our US time too.
We didn't have to say those things. We took that time, but we didn't do it because we had to make sure of that. We were doing it, we, we did it naturally and not that often. I mean, date night for us wasn't that common. Our kids were so involved in athletics. Travel baseball, travel, basketball, football, tennis.
You know, we were traveling so much for sports. You know, dinner in a movie didn't really, and our lives till our kids were in college. Yeah. And, and they were, you know, all out of the house. Now we're in this great dating stage again, you know, since the last six years that we've been empty nesters to do all the fun stuff that we wanna do and just really focus on us.
But we committed to each other that this family. Was everything. [00:28:00] And we had a number of years before we had kids, that was all about us. And part of that was years of trying to have kids, but then we said, okay, we're entering into this parenthood thing and adoption is how we got there initially that. Now we are all in on that because now it's just not about us.
It is about these souls that God entrusted us. And we prayed so hard for God to send us the children that we were meant to raise any color, any nationality, any health condition, whatever it is, send us the kids that were meant to raise and he did exactly. . And so then it was a matter about honoring that.
And so, you know, for us, our non-negotiable was being all in on the family unit. That was first. And then there was individuality in that family unit of having relationships with each of our kids and of course with each other. But through that we created a strong marriage because it was all about that family unit.
And I think in part, I learned that from my parents because, [00:29:00] They as two full-blooded Italians, both my mom and dad, both fiery driven people. They clearly did not have a perfect marriage. And they clearly did not have a non-combat marriage at times cuz they were both too verbal to not do that. But what they did have was a perfect commitment to marriage.
So they didn't have the perfect marriage, but they had the perfect commitment to marriage and family. And so that was more important than anything else in our household, right? It was honoring God and honoring that institution of marriage. And what that meant was for them living with each other at times when they really didn't like each other because they didn't deal with things really as gracefully as Susan and I did.
And the reason why Susan and I did truth be told, is because I married an angel. The woman is so kind, so good every single day. I mean, she lands you know, there's [00:30:00] I, I was gonna try not to, I don't know how to say it without cussing the resting bitch face, but peak people, they say that you have. Yeah, yeah, sure.
It's fine. Yeah, we're good. Right? Yeah. Hers is just resting with happiness. It's just, it's just a good resting face of kindness always. So it was easy to not be combative with that. If I was married to another active thinker as opposed to a really calm thinker, would I be strong enough to not combat the way my parents did and my parents stayed, you know, married my mom.
My dad's been gone 18 years, but my mom still wears her wedding. You know, 18 years later is never considered another date for being with another man because she's still married and she's honoring that commitment and, and grateful to to have done that. And she was only 66 when my dad died. So, you know, I think that I was well suited.
God gave me the right mate for me to have this focus with, and we were able to do that together largely [00:31:00] because.
Tony: You know what's interesting is we've been talking one of the places that the Lord just seems to be nudging me lately. Well, to, to ask you about specifically is adoption, and I, I get the sense right now that there's somebody listening who's just. Who's considering it and they're thinking through it and what it means.
And I, I don't know if they're struggling with fertility or not, but I I'm wondering if you could tell us a little bit about why or kind of the unexpected gifts of adoption and, and what you and Susan experienced through that
Johnny: adoption's. One of my favorite. Topic, Tony. So we could do a whole podcast just on adoption.
And the reason why I say that is because I think there is the ability to change hearts and minds on the topic. I've always said to my kids that, you know, the three that we've raised, you know, one of you is adopted. I don't remember which one. But I have a file in my cabinet that has the adoption papers in it.
One of your names is on it. I just don't remember which one. [00:32:00] And the first time I said that and it's, it's our son, Bo, that's adopted, the oldest, and it was to his basketball team. Maybe it's 10 year old travel team. And one day at practice you know, they were like, Hey, Mr. Cilla, you know, Bo said he is adopted and, and we don't believe him.
We think he's lying. Bo's not adopted, is. , and obviously there was a slant, Tony, that the kids had on what adoption means, right? And so that, you know, does, do you need to look adopted? I mean, do you need to sound adopted? What is that? That they, they got the impression that Bo wasn't, and so when I said that the boys was, the first time I said that statement, I said, you know, guys, I, I don't remember one of my kids is not that, I don't remember if it's Vogue, but I can go home and check.
The paperwork and then I can let you know tomorrow practice. And Bo's like, dad, you know, you're throwing me under the bus here. You're, you know, I'm not lying. I was like, oh bud, we'll let him know tomorrow. So the boys could tell at that point that I was joking. But I say that because when [00:33:00] God entrusts you with a life you know, every one of those cliches that people say when Susan was pregnant with our daughter, Bella, it's so exciting.
You get to have one of your own. What does that mean? One of our own, Bo is our own. I mean or you get to have a natural child. You know, there's nothing unnatural about Bo as our child. There's nothing unnatural about us as his parents. It's incredibly natural. We're we're who God chose to raise bo boast or pillow.
So when you think of those words that are used is why I think God's putting that on your heart to ask that question right now, because I have such. Feelings about that, that, you know, another human being has handed us six children over the course of our lives. The first three that passed, but a doctor handed us each baby as.
They were birthed from Susan. And another human [00:34:00] handed us Bo when he was a day old. And then two more doctors handed us two other babies in operating rooms after a C-section. So someone hands you a baby and as, as if saying, God's entrusting you with this life, and you grab that baby and there's immediate love and so, You know, for my story about adoption is I can't say that I was the guy that, you know, was raised thinking or brought up saying, I can't wait to grow up, get married and adopt a baby.
Mine was, I can't wait to grow up, get married, and have kids, right, have kids, meaning that my wife and I were going to, through God's help, create a human life. I never said it the other. And as it turned out, it's so perfect that it happened that way because we, we see God's mystery and glory revealed in so many different ways through that life that he's saying, Johnny, Susan, [00:35:00] as you are my child, as you were adopted by me, you know, I'm asking you to entrust and take care of this life.
He asked the same thing when Bella and Stone were born as well. It wasn't something that he only said to us. When we became Bo's parents, so therefore it's, it's all the same to us and, and, and really so incredible.
Tony: That's beautiful. And, and I honestly, I, I love the way that it's become part of your kind of mission statement, right? For my researchers, basically like three areas of your world right now, which is, you know, encourage healthy living, encourage leadership, and encourage adoption. And I think all three of those really go together.
Nice. What, what's the vision that you have for encourage? It's such an I, I love the name, obviously as an encourager myself, but also I love the kind of the mission statement of it all. 10 years from now, what are we celebrating [00:36:00] about Encourage?
Johnny: Well, I think we're gonna be celebrating for sure, the continued.
destiny of, of, of the origination of the name. I mean, I was prey on Thessalonians five 11. So encourage one another and lift each other up just as in fact you were doing, and I thought that was right after. , I decided that I was going to retire and I thought, there's the name of my company. Encourage. So encourage one another, just as in fact you were doing.
And I thought, I am doing that. I love encouraging people encouraging them in business, encouraging them in faith, encouraging them in. Tough discussions and values and, and deep thinking and all things. I love encouraging people. So, you know, what encourages all about is literally serving to others and, and through the principle of leadership, which is what I really enjoy talking about, is the example that we need to be for others.
The example that we need to be for [00:37:00] others in business in medicine, in all professions that we're in. The example of leadership is critical in encouraging people for their best. For their greatest purpose for the value that they serve, encouraging them to do that. Tony takes a ton of commitment. So my hope in 10 years is that I've made a significant impact in the boards that I serve on the topic of leadership in getting people to understand fundamentally that when you accept the title, Of president or c e o, or manager, director, vp, whatever your title is, supervisor, that you have that you accept that it is an honor to lead, and when you don't lead honorably, you are not only impacting negatively your employees but their families as well.
And that's the second book that I'm working on right now entitled The Honor to Lead subtitle in the Damage You Do to Families and Employees When You [00:38:00] Don't. And I intentionally say families in there, Tony, cuz it's not just about leading your one employee and say, I'm responsible for that one person because that one person goes home and might have a family of four or six that.
That your negative energy that you bred into that person in an eight or 10 or 12 hour workday that they took home, and they poured that into other people and they poured that into a setting with maybe weak communication principles in place and maybe a lack of values. So there's actions that are happening that are ugly and unattractive and damaging to relationships.
If you as a leader, Pour in that negativity into someone and then they go home and then they take that out on others where they now have control. You know, you have a hand in that and, and I have a problem with that fundamentally. And so just like I want employees to come into the workday every day, [00:39:00] recharged and energized to be able to really commit to the customers and the holders and the company, I want that employee to go home.
and be recharged to deal with their family, to deal with the most important role they have as mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, grandfather, caregiver, whatever your role is at home, that you're really ready to do that and you're uplifted to do that and you're not beaten down. So it encourage, I want to be able to get that message out there often and have people understand the responsibility they have for good leadership.
Tony: I can't wait. I'm excited. Let me know when I can pre-order the.
Johnny: Thank you.
Tony: Okay. I have one more question for you but before I ask it I know my audience is gonna wanna find you all over the Innerwebs. Where's the best place where they can learn about when the next book is coming out and follow what God is doing through Encourage?
Johnny: So, I'm a number of places certainly on Instagram at Johnny [00:40:00] Cilla. Facebook John Easter Villa as well on Facebook, my website, you can get it to it, one in two places. Encourage 30 three.com so we know 33 Biblically is an important number. So just remember the number. Encourage 30 three.com and, or you can reach me online at John Easter.
Dot com. And so my website shows, you know, really the full buildout of all the projects that I'm involved in. And, and the mission that I have at Encourage and also my books available. Life is hard, but I'll be okay. Really anywhere online the books are sold. Certainly Amazon, Barnes and Nobles and others.
And if anyone is kind enough to read the book it's available on audit audible. Or an ebook, or of course, the paperback book. If you read it, I'd love for you to leave a review on Amazon and just let me know what you think and how it hit your heart.
Tony: Yeah. [00:41:00] Amen. Okay. Last question I love to ask people.
It's an advice question except I get to ask you to I kind of take you back in time to give yourself one piece of advice, except I get to name the season of. And so I, I wanna take you back to the day after your wedding day, that younger version of yourself, newly married, unclear about what the world is gonna hold grasping tightly to all of the, the dreams that you still have.
If you could go back to that younger version of Johnny, pull a chair up in front of him, sit knee and knee with him, hold his hand, look him in the eye, and give him one piece of advice. What's the one thing you're gonna tell?
Johnny: This is gonna sound a little cheesy and, and silly, but it's how I got the title of my book. I would tell him, life is hard, but you'll be okay. And the, and the reason why I would say that, Tony, is [00:42:00] because at that point in time, in my early twenties, I had the belief that with any. That you have, you just work hard at it and you achieve your goal, check the box and go on to the next goal.
And I had never really experienced, I had been blessed. I, you know, with a stable home, growing up with parents that loved me and were committed to our family and were committed to teaching us work ethic and all those things and good things and faith filled that I really had never had to go years and years fighting for something and not achiev.
And so yeah, there was always kind of the, you know, you don't, maybe you don't win, you get second place in the tournament, you know, there's third place you made it to the final four, whatever it might be. There was always those other things that you could still feel accomplishment on. The, the important thing of having children, it was you had a child or you didn't getting pregnant wasn't [00:43:00] just the win because you needed.
The baby to live after. And so, you know, there was, it was either win lose, and I think I didn't anticipate that life was gonna be that hard. I thought I was just gonna keep on this upward trajectory of setting more goals, achieving more, being more grateful, being thankful, being faithful, and just keep going up and up and up.
And I didn't see the rollercoaster that life was gonna. . And so I'd want that that younger, 24 year old Johnny to know that life is gonna be hard and, and it, it's gonna be okay and it's even gonna be better than okay. When you really, you know, work hard to live through those blessings that are there even in tragedy.
And so I'd ask everyone, and maybe a kind of a closing comment or thought is, you know, when you think about the thoughts that you have in situations that you're. , there [00:44:00] is beauty in every tragedy. And for us, we were not gonna let Nicholas, Maria and Peter's life be defined by tragedy. It was gonna be a, a life well lived and beautiful regardless of the time between their birth in death certificate.
And the reason why we felt so strongly about that is cuz we couldn't live with the alternative. Thought that it was just tragic and. . Yeah, we, we couldn't exist and get out of bed. We couldn't stop hanging out at the cemetery every day because it was just such a dark place and so forced to reframe thoughts and learning it through therapy, we were able to see of all the amazing things that they did in their short lives and the love around us, and the people that Christ put in our lives around us to get us through that.
taught us the people that we need to be for others when their tough day comes, when they have their process to carry. And so I ask people to take the hard times in their [00:45:00] life and be thankful for them because there's good in those that happen. And of course we wish for a different outcome. But when that outcome isn't gonna be different and it's still gonna be the same, what can you clinging to?
And I'd ask people to clinging to something joyful. As something horrific and tragic and dark, because life is meant to be lived here fully. And you can't do that if you're always in a dark place.
Tony: Amen. That'll preach. Johnny, thank you so much for your willingness to be so vulnerable. Transparent and and for your, your wisdom today. I, I would love to have you back on the Parcast when the, when the second book comes out and just continue to stay connected as we, we both do our best to follow.
Jesus.
Johnny: Thank you so much, Tony. Thanks for what you're doing out there again. Your listeners such encouraging messages it's meaningful. So thank you man.
Tony: I
Johnny: love Johnny's
Tony: heart. I appreciate his [00:46:00] story, his vulnerability. I also think that his idea that sensitivity as a strength is
something that we could all hold onto.
I know also I'm still thinking about that
Tony: idea about not letting a good crisis go to waste. I really appreciated the way he and his wife. Formed together to create a new foundation for their family. Such a good one today, guys.
Tony: So thankful for you and the opportunity that I continue to get because of you listening, you sharing, and you leaving reviews.
It does mean the absolute world. So thank you, thank you, thank you. And remember guys,
if you want to follow Jesus, you must be willing to move.
