#121: Dr. Tiffany Tajiri: Peace After Combat
This conversation is near and dear to my heart. We dive into the topic of psychological healing through spiritual means with everything in between. Combat veteran or not, you need to listen to this conversation!
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EP. 121
Tony: [00:00:00] Hey everybody! Welcome back to the Reclamation Podcast, where our goal is to help you reclaim good practices for faith and life. I'm Tony. And today is episode 1 21, where I sit down with former air force officer and current psychologist, Dr. Tiffany to Jerry Dr. Tiffany and I talk about her new resource piece, Africans.
Now you don't have to be a combat veteran to appreciate what she has to say about the connection between God and science. We talk about the enemies superpower. We talk about vulnerability, coping mechanisms, miracles, and combat so many different things we cover in this conversation. So, Hey, do me a favor.
Make sure you hit that subscribe button wherever you listen to podcasts, leave a rating review on iTunes so other people can find us. And if you really enjoy this episode, share it with a friend. It would mean the absolute world to us. If you didn't know already, we are a ministry of spirit and truth, [00:01:00] a nonprofit designed to really help people expand the kingdom of God, revival ministries for the local church.
So excited about what God is doing through this platform. Spirit. You can find out more information on them@spiritandtruth.life. Now, without any further ado. Here's my conversation with Dr. Tiffany to Jerry. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm excited today to have Dr. Tiffany with us, Dr. Tiffany, thank you so much for being here today.
Tiffany: I was such a blessing and I love your mission, Tony. It's amazing. Thank you so much for what you do for all the listeners out there.
Tony: It's my pleasure. You're in Fort bliss, Texas. And you're an air force. Well, we're an air force officer and now you're an army psychologist. What's it like to blend army and air force worlds together?
Oh my goodness.
Tiffany: Now I'm saying who everywhere where air force was fly fight when, and we were a little more classy and elegant. I fly by the seat of my pants a lot better, and I Semper Gumby a lot better being in the army. Air force was just so classy and so pristine. So if I can carry the [00:02:00] best of both worlds, then I'm a winner.
Tony: I love it. Well, when I was deployed oh four to oh five, we would sneak the chaplains team and I, we would all sneak over to camp that the air force base, because they had the better dining facility. And so the army dining facility is garbage by the air force was always top notch. So I, I really love this.
So let me ask you this. You have found a ministry in ministering to combat veterans. How does someone get called into that kind of sacred and very heavy work?
Tiffany: That's an incredible question. No, one's really specifically asked that before. And so I'm digging into my brain deeply and letting holy spirit lead.
And what I'm really feeling is that one. The military was very important to my family. So I do have individuals who are service members have served many, many years. My partner, my [00:03:00] husband, he's in 26 years, retired army. And so with all that being said, I think the exposure, and then. God just led me. I went to graduate school and I was blessed to have one of the most abundance scholarships out there from Jack Kent Cooke.
And I thought, you know, I don't need anything paid for. So it really felt like mission led by the holy spirit to say, Hey, you know, you need to help those that are hurting and are combat veterans are the population that I'm going to anoint to you to help you.
Tony: And what's it like to carry that burden?
Right. I knew that that's gotta be I mean, you do a great job in your, in your newest resource piece after combat of, of sharing some of their stories and in a very readable way, very digestible way. But I would imagine on your own heart, that's gotta be like how is it to go home to your family, hearing all the things that you heard all day.
Tiffany: Well, [00:04:00] I would say that I put on the whole armor of God every day from Ephesians. And that helps to protect me when I am immersed in their spiritual warfare, because it's not just combat wherein they are. Overseas in another country, Iraq or Afghanistan or Syria, wherever that may be. It's not just of the physical world, but it's also the spiritual.
And over the years as a clinical psychologist, as we get better in what we do, especially if we're putting God at the forefront, we learn how to put on that armor the whole armor of God so that yes, we do feel it. And I do get tender and I cry in some of my sessions. I really. Allow myself to feel what they're experiencing, but we also have this way of not letting our hearts continue to bleed out.
And, and that's truly putting on the whole armor of God when we are in that spiritual warfare and when he's anointed, you and I, and I'm just grateful because I do feel that anointing over my life to help heal trauma. You just, you're just led by him [00:05:00] and it makes it so much easier. It's actually something that I really enjoy because it fills my cup.
When I see the changes, when I see those aha moments, when I see them leaning in closer to God and having holy spirit lead them where you see just tears coming down their eyes, because they're so humbled by the truth that sets them free.
Tony: Amen. I love that. So I'm curious, one of the things that we say around here is that if you're not dedicated to your disciplines, you'll be destroyed by your distractions.
And I know that putting on the full armor of God is a daily. It's a daily choice, it's a daily kind of relationship requirement. What are some of the things that you do on a daily basis, rhythms or practices to keep yourself rooted in your relationship with Christ so that you can live into your anointing on a daily basis?
Tiffany: First waking up, praying, going to bed, praying with my husband every single night we hold hands together and we thank God. We thank [00:06:00] him. And our keep our eyes focused on the blessings that we have and not look towards the deficiencies that we see in our life. We always let holy spirit lead those deficiencies, whatever they may be, whether it's in the marriage, whether it's with work, whether it's something that.
We desire to acquire later down the line. And usually what we desire is to have a bigger platform to help more people. And so one, it starts with prayer. And then I go on my morning run. I do two miles. It's not to burn calories because trust me, I'm not burning calories at that speed. It's more to listen who my favorite pastors are to listen to incredible podcasts like yours, Tony.
And that helps set me straight along with worship music on my way. And back going to church, Wednesdays and Sundays and volunteering when I get the opportunity to do so really helps me stay grounded.
Tony: Oh, that's awesome. So one of the first things I always tell couples when I do premarital counseling, as I I tell them that they have to start praying together every night.
I think it's one of the [00:07:00] biggest secrets that most Christians don't do to keep their marriage in a healthy place, because it's just so hard to stay mad at somebody when you have to physically pray over them every night. Has that been your expense?
Tiffany: I completely agree. And I think one of the biggest things that help us as a couple is always being thankful and grateful for what the other does.
You know, there's this concept wherein the more we applaud somebody for the good things, the less of the bad things we see in the less of the bad things that the behaviors that they're inclined to do. So the more we reinforce the goodness, right? Speaking life over our family, the more life we're going to get, if we're stuck.
Like focusing on the negativity and saying, don't do this, don't do that. Then we're going to get more of that. So I'm huge at positive reinforcement and we both constantly tell each other how much we appreciate each other's efforts.
Tony: I love that. I think it's might be Craig Rochelle that says what gets rewarded gets repeated.
Yes, I think. Yeah. So w a lot of your work is centered [00:08:00] around PTSD and trauma and that kind of stuff. I'm wondering if you could kind of give everyone a base of, of common language around what PTSD is, because it's a term that gets used. Or has gotten used a lot in recent years. And I think maybe there's a lot of confusion around what's what's a traumatic event versus post-traumatic stress and what's a disorder just versus an event.
Tiffany: These are excellent questions. So we can go with the DSM-V diagnostic statistical manual, and they'll tell you a very specific slew of events. You know, whether your life is threatened, whether you see somebody get hurt or harmed or, you know, or learn of a loved one getting hurt or there's all different kinds of definitions, especially within the DSM five and a certain criteria that you're supposed to meet.
Some of the symptoms include hypervigilance and avoidance nightmares, insomnia. Sleeping persistent negative thoughts, intrusive memories of the toxic experience. [00:09:00] What we should know is that if we experience something that keeps us stuck, because it radically changes our view of ourselves, others, the world at large, and even our perception of God, then we should stop for a moment and say, Hey, we need to dissect this more.
We need to emotionally digest it and process it and especially make spiritual sense. Because when we stay stuck and we continue to avoid it, the voidance gets bigger and bigger and the symptom presentation grows alongside it. And so the most important thing is when something gets us stuck, I like to refer to traumatic events more as toxic experience.
Because traumatic sounds so pervasive and so enduring, and it just keeps you stuck. And oftentimes it becomes a scapegoat. Oh, it was just my PTSD. Now we all have toxic experiences that hurt us and set us a jar, causes anxiety, and to be hypervigilant. So the reality is we need to [00:10:00] dissect those things and we need to process it.
And particularly what I do is put God in the middle of it. Number one, my bottom line up front is if it's not low. It's not God, because I firmly believe God is love and whoever lives in love lives in God. So that's the first believe that the enemy wants us to buy into is that it's God who did that to you, but the reality is that's not true.
Not whatsoever. What I help people do is get unstuck from those toxic, painful experiences. When you are stuck, all you can do is keep those blinders on. And I call them like the pain blinders, all you can see is your own hurt and your suffering and your pain and the negative experiences. But what we have to do is take off those blinders, because if we keep those pain blinders on, we can't see how God is moving, how God even worked and moved.
And even maybe part of the red sea for us during that. Challenging time in our lives. Once we can do that, we can change the memory all the way down to the physical substrates and file it in a way [00:11:00] that promotes life.
Tony: Whew that'll preach. I like that a lot. So one of the things that you kind of touch base on that's resonating with me right now is, is this idea about toxic experiences and, and it's so interesting for your book to come out right now in the midst of the tail end of this.
Incredible like corporate toxic experience, this global pandemic. And, and I was in the middle of walking the second time in a day with my wife and that when we were in the lockdown mode of the pandemic and I looked at my wife and I said, honey, I've been here before. And she said, what do you mean? And I said this is exactly the same thing I went through in my deployment.
And, and it's this interesting connection for me between. Being locked down in limited freedom, not knowing what's going to happen, not really being in control of your life constant change and stress that you don't really get to say or, or have, you know, have any, any voice into and [00:12:00] always being told.
That we're on the same team, but we're really not sure what we're fighting for at times, right. At times. And so I'm curious, how has how have you seen from a psychological point of view, the pandemic mirror, what you experienced with combat veterans?
Tiffany: Wow. You just blew my mind right now. I love that parallel.
I've never once thought of it in that way way. So I see the pandemic. So kind of one of my concepts is that every human being is in a search for wholeness. And in wholeness, we find peace and joy and connection and purpose and happiness and list goes on and all homeless is grounded in perfectly. And God is the only perfect lot that is out there.
And so when negative experiences happen that are traumatic, they create terrors in our wholeness. Think of the wholeness as a circle, it creates a fracture in it. And so what we're doing is we're constantly trying to fill that bleeding out of all the things [00:13:00] we love with something. And so we've come to recognize how important connection is.
When we were in this pandemic and we, we, I don't know what we're facing next, you know, and I'm praying that eventually, that this dies down with all the different variances. But with that being said, we're always trying to fill that void. And how are we feeling it? Are we feeling it with God's love and light or are we filling it with the ways of the enemy, the solutions of the enemy and the solutions of the enemy are addicted.
Right. The solutions of the enemy are hurt. People, hurt people and we continue doing negative things. It's getting fixated on our appearance. It's striving for perfection when you are already found in perfection because of Christ's love for you. And that's how God sees you because of Christ. And so we have to ask ourself, how are we filling those voids?
And I really feel that pandemic. Caused that to be exacerbated in so many ways, because we feel things we are created neurobiologically wired to [00:14:00] love and be loved. And so when we don't have these attachments, we are having to step inward and be, where am I real attachments? For many people, it could be a blessing in the sense, the isolation portion, portion of it in the sense that they have to look inward and attach to God now, something that they never had the opportunity to do because they're cycling in and out of codependent relationships.
And so I believe. Overall, we're searching for wholeness. This pandemic has magnified all of these symptom presentations, and we need more Jesus in the middle of it. And in that same way, that's what happens to our service members and combat veterans. When they're on deployment, they're trying to find this wholeness.
They're trying to find a sense of purpose and meaning. You're trying to fill that cup of love, but traumatic events like getting hit by an IED is causing. Breaks in that circle of wholeness and they're starting to feel emotionally and spiritually, like they're bleeding out. So they start mending that circle with toxic [00:15:00] things, like I mentioned earlier.
Tony: So I, there's probably somebody who's listening, who you just like completely read their life and they've got some toxic traits and maybe it's, I mean, maybe it's a. You know drinking addiction or pornography, or, you know, maybe it's a little bit more culturally acceptable, like an Amazon addiction or, you know, being a workaholic.
W w what are the, some of the first steps that people can do to regain wholeness? And I know that you have the, the rhythm and restoration method, and I think that probably fits in a little bit here, but I'm curious if somebody is like, wow, I'm just shook. What should they do next?
Tiffany: From a spiritual perspective, it's all about getting grounded in a relationship with Jesus because that relationship is the only one that's ever going to bring complete full satisfaction and his perfect love.
Yes, we have our spouses and we have our children, but we're fallible, right? We're not perfect. We don't act perfectly. Jesus acts and operates [00:16:00] in pure love. We act and operate, unfortunately in a lot of circumstances, including myself in selfish way. Sure. And so one it's first recognizing it then allowing yourself to have some sense of accountability talking to somebody about it.
Of course, I would say, start leaning into your worship music, your scripture, read your Bible, go to church, surround yourself. If you want to get out of the stuck playground that you're in, then you need to change playground. To the Jesus solution and you have to have new playmates in this new playground.
You can't continue to sit with the same individuals who reinforce the same maladaptive behaviors over and over again. If you're changing playgrounds, you've got to change your playmates. So there's a whole different places we can start, but I think that's one of the most important ones. Emotional accountability to self, and then allowing somebody to know what's going on with you so that they can help support you through the process, because we're not meant to do this alone.
God walks with us. And he also uses others as vessels of his love and light.
Tony: Do [00:17:00] you how many people do you think that you kind of need around you to To make sure you're in a healthy space. Do you find that that varies by individual extroverts, introverts all different? Or do you have like, Hey, three's not enough tends to many, you got any wisdom for us on that.
Tiffany: For myself personally, I do believe in being introverted or extroverted.
I think people oftentimes think because. I'm performer or I'm goofy, or I public speak that I'm an extrovert, but the reality is I like to perform and I've been a performer. I did ballet when I was a young girl all the way up into I was going through my college years. So I love to perform, but don't mistake me as an extrovert because of it.
I'm really an introvert. I'm a home body. And for me, I need one or two people continuously in my life. And really just one and Jesus and I'm okay. Because I get my energy from turning inwards.
Tony: That's awesome. Yeah, I think I'm probably you know, obviously start with Jesus, but [00:18:00] then I, you know, I have my own counselor and then I have a spiritual director as well.
And so that I kind of lean into both a little bit and then a couple of so we're Wesleyan. And this church Methodist. And so I have a band meeting, so I get together with a couple other pastors once a week. And we confess since as a way to try to help with that. So yeah. It's like, well, it's like going to the gym.
Like I never, yeah. I never regret it when it's over, but I don't always want to go.
Tiffany: I know the feeling.
Tony: One of the really cool parts about your ministry is that you have done a lot of work about connecting God and science. I'm curious, there are probably a lot of Christians listening right now who have wrestled with that tension.
How do you live in the tension of God and science and help make it all make sense? And in view of your thesis,
Tiffany: Yeah, I rationalize it in the sense that Tony, you and I were a [00:19:00] series of electrical and chemical impulses. Our brains are neuroplastic. They're amazing. We have cells in our brains known as neurons, and we have mitochondria DNA and RNA. We are science. We are science and God created us. So God created science and they think that we can Marvel at cods many miracles through scientific creation.
And I believe firmly as a clinical psychologist. Well, I can tell you for a fact, from what I've seen in my life is that there are great evidence-based practices out there for therapists to use, and they are effective. But there's nothing more effective than the power of Jesus. And when you put the two together, I allow psychology and the science behind psychology to be a catalyst to help people understand the, how I've noticed that there's so many recovery programs out there that are Christian recovery programs.
And I think they're great, but what they do is teach you how to be. And they say [00:20:00] because, but they don't show you how. How, how do I rewire this incredible neuroplastic brain that God has created for me, I am made in the image of God. So how do I learn how to wire that fantastic brain of mine?
Tony: So if somebody wants to rewire, is that getting out of the old playground?
Is that how it all kind of comes together? Is that the same idea about jumping into new spaces with new people?
Tiffany: You're absolutely right. It starts with your thoughts, your emotions and your behaviors. So I'm a huge fan of visualization. And I'll talk a little bit towards that when you want to talk about rhythm restoration, but it has a huge visualization component and to suffice, I'll just get to that part of it.
Visualization. Brain doesn't know the difference between a real and imagined experience for the most part. Think of the Olympic. Say that again.
Tony: Recently, your brain doesn't know the difference between real and imagined experience.
Tiffany: [00:21:00] Yeah. So here's here. Here's the caveat. So you're mind and your brain are different.
So your mind is like your conscious awareness. It's the decision maker. It guides the real estate of the brain. So the mind knows the difference between the real and imagined experience, but the way the brain is wiring, it's like, it doesn't even know the difference because it's just wiring itself. So I'm thinking about some of the famous athletes.
Some of the Olympians, the gymnast, especially what they do and working with special operations. What we also did was have them visualize their techniques, tactics, and procedures. To visualize themselves nailing that perfect 10 routine, or visualize themselves going into combat, doing clearing, whatever building they need to clear strategically in how so visualizing is key.
So you're laying down a brand new neural network in your brain and the more you reinforce it, it's just like a road that you. And the more you reinforce it, the more paved that road gets and the faster it goes, we have [00:22:00] myelin sheath that actually covers the neurons, actually the synapses and the dendrites and the axons of the neurons that make it go faster, like a super highway.
So visualization is really cool and awesome and doing that. So I actually have people visualize rescripting their traumas. I also have them visualize. Their future successes. And I also have them visualize their walk in life with Jesus. Like Jesus is their imaginary friend, like legit. He's right here with me and his hands right on my shoulder and say, Hey Jesus, what's up?
I know you're with me. You got my back. Military would say I got your sticks. So visualization is profound. Let me just tell you one fun thing about visualization is Dr. Kelly Crow was doing some, I think it's Cole. I'm sorry. Dr. Kelly Cole did research on visualizing doing exercises. And you visualize doing the exercise.
You actually did the exercise. And then there was a court did nothing at all. And the court that visualize had 22% gain and a [00:23:00] musculars Dre. That is significant clinic. Wow. Now the other group who actually did the exercises were 30% muscular strength. So you know what we were just talking about going to the gym, let's just visual.
Come on in to any let's visualize doing those abs and get our six pack.
Tony: I'm here for it. That's incredible.
So now you have you have a young son, am I correct? In that you've got a a young son. Do you work visualization with them as you're discipling him? Like how do you work that into your parenting gig?
Tiffany: Oh, he's so stubborn sometimes. Gosh, I wish he would visualize more. I visualize what he wants here.
There you go. I haven't visualize what do I, what did we do? We visualize Disneyland when we couldn't go cause of the pandemic we made our backyard Disneyland, you know, I love the scripture where in Jesus says, let the little children come to me. Do not hinder it. [00:24:00] Hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these is because they have this incredible imagination.
They are untainted by the world. They come boldly before the throne room of grace and say, God, I want this, I want that. And so I think we need to capture more. Yeah. And my goal is for anyone who's recovering. They first need to visualize what they want their life to look like. And if you can't see what you want your life to look like, it's going to be really challenging to manifest that.
So we start right away in our rhythm restoration. It's actually, we use tapping. So it's bilateral stimulation tapping because rhythm regulates the autonomic nervous system, which means to calm us down. All right. The first thing we ever heard in our mother's womb was her heartbeat, right? So we were developed to a rhythm and I love for Matthew is when it states walk with me, work with me, watch how I do it.
Learn my unforced rhythms of grace. I will not lay anything heavy or ill fitting upon. You keep company with me and I will teach you to live freely and lightly. And so rhythm is so [00:25:00] important cause we got to get our rhythm right with it. One two bilateral stimulation. Scientifically speaking helps us to process and digest experiences.
We're using the whole brain. When we do bilateral stimulation, we do it subconsciously in REM sleep where we may have nightmares. But what I love to say to my soldiers is, Hey, you know, when you are rock marching or you're going on a run doing PT in the morning, you know, your brain goes a million miles an hour when you're wreck.
Hours. Right. And you get really creative and you have a lot of amazing thoughts, bilateral stimulation, so important. That's bilateral stimulation. It's simply tapping right and left, right and left right and left and had to be tabbing. It could be walking, could be running. And that's part of, one of the reasons why I love to jog in the morning.
It's not really because it's helping me exercise because at the rate I'm doing, it's not beneficial, but truly it's helping my brain process and digest. And I'm learning scripture. As I'm running, I'm listening to things. I hope holy spirit is leading for me so that I can have a new mission, but bilateral stimulation is key.
So I put all [00:26:00] those together, all those elements combined, it really just looks like tapping. I'm doing a butterfly tap right now. I know some of the viewers can't see me, but it's alternating right and left and my own unique rhythm. And I just let my brain visualize one of the fun things that I have my service members visualize, especially at church.
Recovery program. I have them visualize the crown and armor that God has given them. I say, I want you to imagine that God has given you the crown of life. It talks about the crown of life, about five times in scripture and how important it is. And it really represents how we all carry our own cross to this degree that we carry it.
And so people visualize that crown and God putting that crown on them, what his face looks like, how it feels when it's on their head. And so when they're having. A terrible day. They've visualized that crown being on them and say, I am called, I am part of the family of the most high, because Jesus lives in me and he, who is in me is greater than he, who is in the world.
So we asked him to put that crown on and then to visualize your armor as well. Very important.
Tony: So this is a little bit of a [00:27:00] tangent question, but I'm really curious to hear your answer. Obviously the air force is not. Christian in its approach. And yet you are dripping with the holy spirit and you obviously love Jesus.
How do you live in the tension? And I think there's probably a lot of people listening. How do you live in the tension of being this professional clinical psychologist and yet this on fire preacher of the gospel in your everyday work environment?
Tiffany: I get rejected. Multiple times a week by people, not my patients.
I let them lead sessions and we talk about spirituality where it's comfortable for them. And oftentimes, you know, I have people that the patients I'm seeing and they're like, oh, they're super Christian. We want them to come with you. And then I ended up inheriting them, which is awesome because I hope to God that I renew their faith in Christ.
But it, regardless, because. Psychologist. And I have the right to say, this are super snooty and they're stuck up [00:28:00] so many ways and they're like, evidence-based and evidence-based that. And it's all empirical and black and white, black and white, black and white. And they're constantly competing with MDs because their science is a soft science.
It's not concrete and a hard science like physiology and whatnot. And so me coming into this world and talking about neuroplasticity and neuroscience is really neat. I think one of my heroes, not a psychologist. However, is Dr. Caroline leaf. She's wonderful. She's a neuroscientist. And she talks a lot and combined scripture with how the brain works.
But from a psychology perspective, I haven't heard many of us and honestly, working for the department of defense, I've gotten. Did on a lot of levels. And I just put the armor of God on and say, Hey, I know the enemy is working against me. That means I'm going in the right direction, but we're going to have to adjust fire and we're going to have to pivot turn and go wherever Lord leads.
So that door closes. Always has another one for me to open and I'm going to come in [00:29:00] eventually, God-willing, he's going to lead the way and we'll infiltrate, infiltrate those hearts and minds to help save the soldiers who need it so badly because those suicide rate is so high, but you know what? I am so familiar with rejection.
I'm okay with that. And usually, sometimes I just anticipate it and like, Then we know that door's closed. Got to go another way. And it's just being flexible. It's you know, being military, Semper Gumby, we got we got the mission out there. I'm not going to stop. It's not going to discourage me. It just invigorates me when I get rejected.
Tony: That's a weird, I just never hear someone so excited about rejection, but I, I appreciate foster. I really do.
Tiffany: One of the things, to be honest, and to be fair.
Tony: No, no, you go ahead to be honest.
Tiffany: To be fair. I mean, I do have this incredible blessing when I work with the chaplains. It's like, oh wow. She is the answer that we have been waiting for.
When I work with the chaplains, they love it. They [00:30:00] love the science combination. They really enjoy it. They see themselves. Doing rhythm restoration. I've trained so many chaplains at this point. But when I come to the psychology world, it's like, what are you doing? I can't believe you're doing that. And so I'm like, oh my goodness.
So I fit much better with the chaplaincy and their willingness to learn psychology, which speaks a lot about the chaplains. But when you look at it from the other way, and I'm coming to the psych realm, they're not so okay with talking about Christianity one, I try to frame it for them as, Hey, this is.
Christian base, but you have Christian based patients, even if you're not Christian, you're still helping people who are Christian. So this might be an easy way to help them because I have a certain little algorithm that you could tell them. You could guide them to read this material, but for whatever reason, some individuals just.
Want to be straight up rude.
Tony: One of the things you talk about in a, in a book is the the [00:31:00] enemy superpower and you talk about shame and I think it makes a lot of sense to go from rejection straight to shame. I wonder how do we recognize what shame is in our lives? And then what are some of the steps that we can take to fight back on that?
Tiffany: Well, we're not good enough is basically. Where shame comes in. I'm not worthy. I'm unlovable. I must've done something that made me unlovable. Somebody was not showing me love as a child that creates and manifests my first idea of what attachment should look like and what love should look like. Because essentially at the beginning, we learned that from our parents.
And so if parents push off their children and dismiss their emotional experiences, then they feel. Hmm. I believe shame derives from a sense of unworthiness. And if anybody knew they wouldn't like me or they couldn't accept all of me because of this part being fragmented or broke. [00:32:00] So shame is the enemy superpower power, because it stops us from being vulnerable.
And as Dr. Bernie brown states, that vulnerability is the birthplace for joy and happiness. If we have the courage to go through it and biblically speaking, we have to be vulnerable, but we also have to guard our hearts and not cast our pro before swine, because there are people out there. We'll damage that raw bleeding heart when you do put it out there for them.
So we have to be conscientious about who we disclose our most intimate feelings to and make sure that that person is someone who is validating and someone, if you know, they're a Christian brother or sister that is also led by holy spirit and the words that they give you.
Tony: I love that. I think, I think a lot of people wrestle with shame even more than they realize. And, and we, we tend to mask shame with some of those other coping mechanisms that you talked about before. [00:33:00] After, after visualization, what are some of the important steps to the rhythm and restoration method?
If you're willing to share.
Tiffany: Yeah, absolutely. So what I do is a lot of visualizations, biblical visualizations. We talked about the crown and the armor. I have them visualize being Peter being called in the storm. And what is your storm in your life? When you can see that? And then you can see Jesus on the other end because our imaginations are so powerful.
That is super healing. Even when Jesus calls us as he has called me and you, Tony, just because he's called us, doesn't mean we're going to be immune to the storm of life. We essentially have the life jacket on and the victory in the end. So the life vest is going to keep us afloat, but it doesn't mean we're not going to feel the wind slap us or the wave slap us or the lightning strike or the thunder.
Get us off our course, you know, we're still gonna feel it, even [00:34:00] if we're called, but with rhythm restoration, visualization is key. And I think it's so important for us in worship music. We can visualize exactly what they're saying, the lyrics, because oftentimes it's biblical affirmations and we have to visualize that we are the head and not the tail above and not beneath.
We have to visualize scripture saying we're blessed going in, less, going out less in the city, blessed in the fields. We have to visualize that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power. In a sound mind, we have to see what it is we want. And we have two different kinds of imagination. I call it kingdom imagination and carnal imagination.
So kingdom imaginations, everything holy spirit led, and that is the direction we want to go. It's having a platform to help people to spread more love and joy, to be vessels of love and lies, salt and light essentially. And the other one is carnal and that's like, I want my Lamborghini, you know, so many people out there.
Which I'm not trying to discredit by any way. But it's way more powerful with Jesus, but they're [00:35:00] focusing on the material, things of this world. I want you to visualize a million dollars. I want you to think about each and every single zero. What does it smell? Like? What does it taste like? What does it look like?
And then million dollars is going to manifest in your bank account? I think, I think that is. That's unique and that's different and that's more along my lines of carnal imagination. And when I do things in our faith and Christianity, I always say, use that kingdom imagination. There's nothing wrong. If you want to see yourself driving a Lamborghini, raise your hand.
That's okay. You can have that in your visualization, but that's not the source of what brings you happiness. It's love and joy and helping others that brings you happiness. And God will bring all that abundance along the way. As long as your mission is in his vision.
Tony: Hmm, how do we test that? How do we testify?
Our mission is within his vision.
Tiffany: Well, I have this little idea called the peace compass. And so God created us in his image, right? And so we are broken [00:36:00] down into three components as well. He's the father, the son, and the holy spirit. And we are the spirit, the soul and the flesh and the peace compass is always spirit.
And so we have to make sure that everything is aligned, aligned, and congruent with the holy spirit. And when we're in alignment, we don't have any form of anxiety. I want you to think about Jesus taking the cross, right. He said to God, he said, father, please take this cup of suffering from me. Nobody wants to go die period.
And he was so stressed out so anxious that he sweat blood. And so his flesh and his soul were like, oh no, oh no, I don't want to do this because rightfully so this is terrifying, like who would want to die and know when you're going to die, that's just horrendous. And that's what makes the sacrifice so incredible.
And just so loving, but his spirit compass was leading. And, and he had [00:37:00] anxiety because his brain was like, this is too scary. God take my cup from me. His body was sweating, sweating blood, because it was so stressful. But he was courageous enough because he is perfect. He is courageous enough to leave.
Let the spirit lead him, which is there's a greater end to this. There is salvation for all the people I love at the end of my life. There is more to this and there's more to overcoming that fear. So I believe firmly that we allow our spiritual compass to lead. Then we are in line with kingdom imagination and what I believe God has for our lives as our mission for serving.
Tony: And that probably gets easier with more practice, right? Is it, is it like a muscle that we can develop a little bit?
Tiffany: Absolutely. And I believe visualization is so important because we, we are spiritual creatures in human bodies. And when we just see with our eyes and we don't look spiritually inward at that incredible [00:38:00] imagination, he's given us we're missing out on so much.
We have to be able to close our eyes and also see. Hm. And it takes practice.
Tony: I would imagine. How long do you think that you've been doing this?
Tiffany: I personally think compared to the people I work with and the patients, the many, many, many, many patients who have done rhythm restoration with me, I feel firmly that I am not such a good creative person. I don't think my imagination is nearly as profound as some of the people that I sit across from.
And I'm like, oh, that's amazing. So intense and so deep and so vivid. And I feel like I'm on the spectrum of like lacking imagination to be honest. But I do it all the time. You know, I, I create more of an image, you know, I'm a writer. So I come up with that more, in my words, I think you have to come up with your imagery somehow.
Don't I always visualize trust me. I do. But some of the things that I hear, my husband's got an [00:39:00] incredible, crazy imagination, such beautiful things come from it. And I know that his spirit led, so everyone's different on their level. Ability to imagine. And for those who have, who are more challenged, maybe like myself or more concrete left hemisphere type thinkers, then I believe that we have to walk them through the visualizations a little more and create the verbal dialogue for their minds to go where it needs to go.
But with practice then holy spirit can do anything.
Tony: Amen. Amen. That's so good. Okay. So I know that my audience loves to pray and I always love to ask authors who are writing pieces that I think are really important for different groups. What is the prayer requests around this book? Peace after combat, if, if people are praying for you and they're praying for your mission as they listen to this podcast, or maybe they can even hit pause right now and just say a quick prayer, what, what would you like the prayer to be?
Tiffany: Wow increase [00:40:00] this platform because my objective, which I believe God's mission in my heart is to help heal combat veterans. Not only them, their families, their loved ones, not only them. It goes bigger and bigger. I want to heal people who are hurting period. And, and show them how incredible they are and how incredible God sees them and how incredible God created them.
And that they have the power to choose life. I put before you blessing or cursing life or death. So choose life. I want people to know that they can neuroplastically re wire their incredible brains.
Tony: I love that. Okay. Well, I have one last question for you, but before I ask it aware, can all of my listeners find you on the interwebs, where's the best place to, to start to learn more about Dr.
Tiffany and your ministry.
Tiffany: I am most active on Instagram. So you can go Dr. Tiffany to Jerry and I have a [00:41:00] YouTube page with lots of videos. So that's pretty active. I do at first for Instagram, and then I do it second for YouTube. Don't be jealous. Okay. And so with that being said, you can yeah. Find me at Dr.
Tiffany to Jerry at YouTube. And then I have my own personal website as Dr. Tiffany to jerry.com. It's D R. F F N Y. And to spell it phonetically for you military out there. The last portion of my last name is tango alpha, Juliet, India, Romeo, India.
Tony: Well done. Well done. You've done that a time or two, obviously.
Okay, last question. I always love to ask people. It's an advice question. If you could give yourself one piece of advice, except I get to name the time. And so I'd like to take you back to the day after you took the oath of office as an officer in the air force. If you could go back and talk to that younger version of Dr.
Tiffany, what's the one piece of advice you'd give yourself.[00:42:00]
Tiffany: Wow. I'm thinking I want a good answer for myself because I deserve a good answer.
Tony: That's good. I love it, girl.
Tiffany: Yeah, here we go. Here we go. Girl. Be confident in who you are, because God has made you in a unique fashion. Don't be afraid to speak up. And the most important thing I have for you is even though you're military, don't be afraid to color outside the lines because that's what your life is going to be a whole bunch of coloring outside the lines.
When it comes in the sense of military, when it comes in, the sense of psychology, know who you are and what you want, and always submit to the Lord because he will direct your paths and make them straight.
Tony: Amen. Amen. Dr. Tiffany, thank you so [00:43:00] much for your ministry and your time and your generosity today.
Wasn't such an incredible blessing.
Tiffany: Oh, my goodness. We're blessed to be a blessing. And Tony, thank you for being salt and light and everything that you do.
Tony: I love her heart for the service member. I love her heart for Jesus and the way that she does such a good job of bridging both arenas. I think oftentimes we think about science and Juan and God and the other.
When the reality of God is the creator of everything. He's the creator of science. So I love her heart. Go make sure you hit her up on all the social. Follow her, let her know that you're heard here on the park podcasts and how much you appreciate it. Also don't forget, hit that subscribe button, leave a rating or review on iTunes.
We were trying to get to a hundred by the end of the year. And and please, please, please share this episode with a friend. It's the absolute best compliment you can give us as always thank you so much for listening. And as a reminder, if you want to follow Jesus, you must be willing to move.[00:44:00]
