#124: Tony Hixon: Find Meaning, Live with Purpose, and Leave a Legacy
Tony Hixon is an author, speaker, and financial advisor. In his latest writing, he shares his own pain, and how each of us can live into our retirement through intentionality.
This interview is full of stories, wisdom, and a whole lot of heart.
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EP. 124
Tony M.: [00:00:00] Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Reclamation Podcast, where our goal is to help you reclaim good practices for faith and life. I'm Tony. And today is episode 1 24 of the podcast where we get to sit down with repeat offender, financial expert, and legacy guru, Tony Hixon, Tony and I talk. What stumbling blocks are versus stepping stones.
We talk about what it means to plan out your retirement with intentionality. And we talk about what a dream retirement really looks like. I think you're going to love Tony's story. You're going to love his heart. If you haven't already listened, you might want to go back and listen to episode number 12.
Where Tony talks about retirement purpose and suicide, and that's a lot to do with his story. Also be sure to check out Tony's website, Tony hickson.com. [00:01:00] If you are a fan of the podcast, you're going to want to make sure that you hit that subscribe button. We've got some incredible, some incredible episodes coming up.
I think you're going to love them. If you do love them, do me a favor, leave a rating and review on iTunes. We're trying to get to a hundred reviews by the end of the year. Every of goes such a long way and helping people find future episodes. So reviews are like tags for the internet. They just kind of help, you know, where they are.
So if you could leave a review, it would mean the absolute world. To me, I'd be forever thankful. And I'm already thankful for all the ways that you guys support this community. Speaking of support. I don't know if you know this or not, but we are a ministry of spirit and truth. What does that mean? Well, spirit and truth is a renewal ministry for the local church.
We're passionate about helping churches and pastors get connected to new, fresh ideas, fresh breath of the holy spirit. It's what we love to do for more information. Check out. Their website, [00:02:00] spirit and truth.life, spirit, and truth.life. I'm so thankful for all of you for listening and for this conversation with Tony Hixon.
Hey everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm excited today to have a repeat offender. My dear friend, Tony Hixon, Tony, how are you?
Tony H.: My, my friend, a pastor Tony. I'm doing good. I love you first.
Tony M.: You know, it's why not backwards.
Tony H.: That's true. That's fun. So yeah, so people don't get confused. I'll try to refer to you as pastor Tony.
Is that right? All right.
Tony M.: That's great. That's great. And and I I'll be the one doing most of the question asking, which is why I love this format so much. And so for those of you that may not remember Tony, he was here in gosh, episode 12. Episode 12. You're one of the very first guests on there back when I was begging and pleading people to come on the podcast.
And one of the things that we talked about in that interview, I'm sure you [00:03:00] remember, is that when you wrote this book, you would come back on a and so that was gosh, almost a year and a half ago. Right. Two years ago, maybe.
Tony H.: We're going to go with two years. It was July of 2019. I remember it very well because basically in front of you know, your listeners you and I kind of conjured up this idea to put this story in the book form.
So it really, it really ignited here on reclamation podcasts. So it's pretty fun. Pretty cool. Two years later here.
Tony M.: The five people that listened to that episode really appreciated it.
Oh, thank God. Thank God though. He's continued to grow the platform and now you're back to share this completed project, retirement stepping stones, which comes out as this episode drops. It comes out this week. I'm so excited for this. And so let me, let me start kind of with a little bit of a recap, if you could.
Can you, can you kind of tell us[00:04:00] that in and people should go back and listen to episode 12, cause you really do a great job of, of sharing your heart in that episode and all the things that happened with your mom. But the catalyst for this book is your mom's life. And and some of the tragic events surrounding her death.
And I wondered if you might kind of start us in that place of of catching everyone up to speed, who, who may not have heard episodes.
Tony H.: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'd love to. So my mom you know, she graduated with a college degree and started as a registered nurse in the healthcare industry. And as you know, being a nurse you have a heart to serve others.
And she did that very, very well. The love that she shared that she gave to others was, felt most by myself, my sister and my dad. And so she navigated. The nursing career worked at a local hospital, working some pretty crazy shifts. And by the time my sister and I rolled around, she thought, man, these shifts just [00:05:00] don't quite work very well for a family life.
So she began to hunt for different possibilities and she found herself working at a job in home health. And she worked there for a few years and this was around the time that hospice began to take, take shape or gain a little bit more popularity. And she started to find a heart and passion to To pursue to pursue a career in hospice and the way that hospice is defined.
And at least in my terms, I don't have any academic studies other than, other than what I know that she did. Basically it's when the healthcare industry kind of says, you know, We've done all we can do for you. We want you, we want to send you home and put you in the best place possible, surrounded by your loved ones and put you as much peace as possible as you transition from this life to the next.
And She found herself I guess uniquely skilled, uniquely gifted to be [00:06:00] able to offer that patient and their loved ones the, the care and love that they needed. The, in those last moments of, of the patient's life. So she Kind of climbed through the ranks and eventually became the director of a hospice agency near the hometown where I grew up.
And so she spent the duration of, I dunno, 15 to 20 years in the industry. And as you can imagine providing that kind of care is very taxing, emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally. She would go from providing care for a patient to one day and she, she lived there and go to the funeral home as she expressed her condolences to the family that had just lost their level.
Yeah. And she would rinse and repeat that day after day after day. So around the time that a new presidential regime came into play this particular president decided that ma medical records, the digital digitization of medical [00:07:00] records was going to have to really take, take shape. And my mom.
Did not like technology. She, she didn't really want to spend much time behind the computer in any way, shape or form. She wanted to spend time showing love to, to that patient and their loved ones. So she quickly began to burn out not only just from a career in hospice, but also just having to spend more and more time behind the desk and behind the computer, as opposed to in these.
In these patients' homes, providing love and care. So she began to entertain the idea of a retirement and she had a primary financial advisor. It wasn't me. Her and my dad decided to separate kind of that financial advising relationship from their kid. And it's probably not a bad idea. And that primary financial advisor gave them the green light, their numbers looked good.
And they're ready to go. But to show respect for, for me in the career that I had built they also decided [00:08:00] to get a second opinion and ran their situation by me. I also looked at the numbers and sure enough, I agreed with the primary financial advisor and also issued them a green light. Dad was still employed owned a family farm, which produced, produced revenue.
So from most or all financial boxes we were able to check each and every. So in the in the fall of 2010, she decided to pull the trigger and she retired. And little did we know at the time, but the story has been, become a lot clearer at this point. Within the first few weeks after pulling after deciding to retire she began to not feel as needed anymore.
So the care that she had shown to so many she had failed to really show self care and understand what it was that she was going to retire to. She knew exactly what she was retiring from, but she had not spent the appropriate amount of time [00:09:00] working on what she would be retiring to. And within about a six months after.
Having dealt with a downward spiral of depression in debilitating anxiety. She chose to take her life
and, and.
Tony M.: That kind of became the catalyst for the work right. The, the shift in how you do your work that now impacts so many. And, and so I know that you credit your mom for a ton of lives helped. I I'm curious, after, after all of this writing And kind of, I mean, this is, this book is a deep, personal expression of your soul and and your philosophy and your theology and it has to do with your mom.
And w what did you learn about yourself in the process of writing this book?
Tony H.: Hmm, well[00:10:00] I guess one thing that came to light for sure is Simply stopping at the numbers. I, I'm obviously a very analytical person simply stopping into look at the numbers. Wasn't good enough. And so without really having known it or done it on purpose, subconsciously likely I'd realized that over the years, since my mom took her life, that I'd been incorporating.
Into my own practice into our firm, into my client relationships, the idea of making sure that the nonfinancial side was also being taken care of. And so the questions that I would tend to define myself asking had had more to do with meaning and purpose and less to do with numbers. So It became very clear that I had done a great job at making sure that my clients had enough money to sleep at night.
And I also wanted to make sure they had enough purpose to wake up in the morning. So I really found out about myself was my mom's [00:11:00] legacy became a part of me and I was able to use that experience to help others just as she had helped so many in her career.
Tony M.: That's that's beautifully stated. And, and actually one of the images that I wanted to get your thoughts on is is stumbling blocks versus stepping stones.
The way you re write the book. And I recommend anybody pick it up. There you talk a lot about what some of the stumbling blocks are when people hit retirement and then how to turn those into stepping stones. And I'm curious when you think about that conversion from stumbling block to stepping stone, what process does it take?
To, to take something that could be a potential stumbling block and turn it into something different. How do we begin to make that shift in our minds? Hmm.
Tony H.: Yeah. Oftentimes when I think about that, I, I picture kind of a blank page and right in the middle of the [00:12:00] page draw a thick black line. And I kind of think of it below the line thinking and above the line thinking.
Hmm. Oftentimes in life we're given two paths and the one path we're able to view a situation. From a negative standpoint. How could this happen to me? I choose the, the victim mentality. Why, why, why did God allow this to occur? And when we have that below the line thinking it's an easy mindset because that's what our human nature tends to gravitate toward.
And it oftentimes does lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression, and yet to pull ourselves to the preferred. Place, which is above the line to, to pull ourselves to above the line, thinking requires work, changing that stumbling block to a stepping stone requires mental energy. It's a little more draining and yet it's more worth it.
And so as we do the hard work and [00:13:00] throughout the book, we like. Many questions that a pre-retiree can can really think through and navigate even by themselves or with their spouse or significant other that requires them to go ahead and step back and do that harder work and not allowing that stumbling block to be in their lives, but to turn it into a stepping stone and sink above the line.
Tony M.: Well, I love that. I love that language above the line thinking, and it really does hit on one of the things that I was going to ask you about. And you talk about identifying your values as kind of a precursor to retirement, that before you get to that time, when you look at retirement and in all seriousness, so you take that step that you've got to identify value.
So I'm kind of curious, you know, if someone who's listening here and they're thinking, man, I don't know that if I can name my values, what process would you advise someone to go down to, to start thinking about this is what I [00:14:00] value in, in word and.
Tony H.: Well, I mean, first of all, values is kind of just one of those squishy, vague words. Like what does that really mean? In the book I do list quite a few to choose from, but Google it and it's amazing how many values that I, that, that a person likely isn't even thinking of. And it's like, oh yeah, I really value that.
So. I, I think that a few questions that a person can ask is simply what was it that I did in my career that have brought me joy. What was it about my job that I enjoyed and contrary to that? What was it about my job that I didn't enjoy? W what kind of things really stand out to us as we as we navigate those, those values in our lives and, and having these values and specific experiences that resonate with us allows us to really think [00:15:00] through To what could potentially be next instead of cold Turkey, possibly like what my mom encountered, not really preparing for what was next, if she would have taken the time to articulate what was valuable to her and what was valuable to her caring for others, it may not have had to been through hospice or even in the healthcare industry, but there are a lot of outlets for.
For that particular value to have expressed itself and had she done. And if we do in the proper work and the hard work of identifying our values, I think we'll end up with a various setups for a successful retirement.
Tony M.: Yeah. And the, and the values kind of leads to this term that you use in the, in the book called dream retirement.
And I think as I was looking at it that the dream retirement idea, wasn't something that was like just this, this broadly stroked picture, but rather very detail oriented. I I'm wondering you, you talk about this guy named Steve in the book, [00:16:00] and I wonder if you might share a little bit about Steve's story and Kind of his struggle when it came to G January 1st after retiring just a couple months before, because I think that when we get to this level of detail it does some things to change the mentality of what our dream retirement actually looks.
Tony H.: For sure. Yeah. Steve, you know, throughout the book I use some acronyms to hopefully draw the reader in these stories are actual real stories from clients I've served, but definitely not the real name by any means, but yeah, Steve was a, a business owner prior to retirement and he thrived in the world of entrepreneurial.
His life was, was defined by a lack of routine, just whatever as an entrepreneur, whatever was coming up, the next big idea managing his employees, balancing life and client work, all of these things kind of just drove him. But he had high hopes for, for retirement. He was ready to transition out of the entrepreneurship role and.[00:17:00]
And just welcome a new change of pace for him. He viewed retirement as his next big idea, and it was the next adventure. Well upon retirement something kind of happened within his mind and heart. And he, he realized that he was unsure how to spend his time. His day was always you know, Looking at the stressful demands of the job.
And now all of a sudden he had all kinds of time to to think and not he did not do the proper job of knowing for sure what he would do next. So he started to think through some values that he enjoyed and some values that he, he was very creative. And so he took an art class at a local community college.
He he and his wife had some ideas of renovating their home and he was able to, to get that done. He, he tried some other things that he was able to spend some time spent some time on and [00:18:00] decided that the retirement was, was a really great place for him. It was a little bit, if he would have done that work prior to retirement would have been a little bit more better transition, but having stepped back and thought through some values that were important to him, he was able to resolve the issue and and, and, and look into other ways for him to spend this.
Tony M.: I really love that. And so I'm curious if you've started thinking about your dream retirement already. Have you, have you identified some of the values, did writing this book force you to put some of that stuff down on paper? I mean, I know you used to have a long ways to go before retirement.
You're a very young man. And yeah. Have you started thinking about what your dream retirement.
Tony H.: Well, I appreciate you saying that I'm young. I mean, we are looking at each other, you can see some of the gray coming out, but it's okay. You know people have asked me that and I'm a little bit like my mom in a way I'm pretty type a personality.
I have to be doing something. Granted she was burnout [00:19:00] and honestly, I'm, I'm thriving. This book has really helped me articulate the values that I find here. And I think that's retirement to me you know, I'm, I'm kind of living that dream even as we speak, I can't imagine stopping, helping the number of clients that are are in need of this type of a, of a conversation by, by by any stretch of the imagination, they've likely checked the boxes and that with their financial advisor to ensure that they have enough money.
But by unfortunately, even in the financial advice career in our industry, we're, we're woefully unprepared to ask our clients about the meaning and purpose that they need to achieve. While in retirement, I feel like I'm pretty uniquely positioned to be able to engage in that conversation and help my clients experience a great, a great transition into retail.
Tony M.: I love that. And, you know, I guess there's no rules to say that you can't continue to do this for as long as you want. And I mean, if, if you just decide what kind of little details you want on a [00:20:00] daily basis and, and go from there as you begin to think about. Work and home, and I know you to be a man of deep faith.
And one of the things that we talk about often on here is that is that our daily disciplines are what avoid us from some of our distractions. When we begin to think about work and home and life and balance. Do you have any thoughts? On how to, how to keep work from becoming our identity as it pertains to our faith or any, you know, I, I, I hear a lot.
From a lot of different speakers that it's just so easy for work to become an idol. And what I get a sense here. If we take a step back and look at this macro big picture that what you're suggesting, isn't just, I mean, this, this is almost an act of worship if we do it well, am I, am I reading too much into that?
Or is, is that kind of your heart, a behind the scenes? [00:21:00]
Tony H.: You're not reading into it at all. In fact you know, I believe that God created us on purpose for a purpose. And if you, you know, I, I assume that you're a student of God's word, the word retirement does not exist in anywhere in the Bible. It's kind of a, an ideal from our American culture that really really embraced this idea of, of stopping work.
I think work. For us. Is is the reason that we are created. And even though I'm not serving specifically in a local church, I'm not a missionary to a third world country. I'm helping a human being transition into the next phase of their life. Well, and God made you on purpose. He made me on purpose.
We each have a unique skillset and unique ability, even identical twins have different fingerprints. So I'm convinced. Okay. The purpose that he's put me on the face of this earth for is to do [00:22:00] exactly what I'm doing right now, which is helping our clients transition into the next phase of their life and preventing them from the mental stress and, and the anxiety that can come with such a big decision.
So I don't really feel like the work-life balance has ever been achievable or makes much sense. To me, it's, it's an integrated faith that can happen in all facets of life.
Tony M.: I love that. And I love the integration part of it because we don't see, I just don't see anywhere in scripture where Jesus is like, please hold while I go to my nine to five, and then I'm going to come back and continue to do the work of the kingdom, building the kingdom.
Right. We, we build the kingdom wherever we're playing it. I think that's, I think that's spot on. And and. That idea transferring from our, our career air quotes to our retirement is a part of a faith transformation in that process, right? Like Hey, I'm going to take the your, your mission field is [00:23:00] not going to change whether you're clocking in, at, at your office or clocking in at your, you know, what, while you watch your grandkids, you know, that, am I thinking about that the right way?
Tony H.: Absolutely. There is a society and a culture in need of, of what God has instilled within you. And you spent 25 to a 30 year career building a unique skillset that can bless others. It's not as though at age 62 or 65, or pick an age that all of that experience that you've had should stop.
It's an age where you may be able to make work optional, but the skill set that you've achieved should still be able to be used and bless humanity. And to make this world a better place, it doesn't stop with retirement. It launches with retirement.
Tony M.: Hmm that's that'll preach any day of the week. I know that at the end of the book you talk a little about visiting your mom's [00:24:00] grave.
And as I was as I was reading that I was really touched about the process of, of how you got there. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing that story if it's not too too difficult to share, but kind of the process of how, you know, what, what brought you back to the cemetery after all those years?
Tony H.: Yeah. Yeah. Tony. So the pastor telling you, so the story you know, I probably, you know, maybe I should hire a counselor to get it out of me, but after I took, I was one of the pallbearers and after myself and five of my closest friends took my mom's casket to her final resting place. I had never been back
yet.
And I don't, I don't know if I can explain why other than, you know, she chose to leave. And I just, I, I dunno. I dunno if I could muster up the,[00:25:00]
I don't know, I don't have it articulated as to why, but I just didn't want to go back to that place. There. It's just, there was this too much sadness and I want to wanting to keep my mind above the line. And I thought going back would pull me down. And yet something felt right as this manuscript began to take more, began to take shape.
And I had the final manuscript in my possession and I got to the end of it and there was something missing. I felt like I didn't conclude this story very well. I felt like I had shared some deep. Intimate feelings and stories about my mom, but I had never I had never shared it with her. And so one morning that manuscript in hand and her favorite flowers and the other I made the tough drive to the, to the cemetery.
And quite honestly, it took me a little while to. It had been [00:26:00] 10 years since I had been there and I didn't know which driveway to roll in. And I found myself walking for a good five to 10 minutes before I finally found her, her, her stone. The moment reminded me of that. Yeah.
It reminded me a bit of the day that my dad called and when he called me to tell me that she, she had tooken her, taken her life. It was gray and the morning was, was Chile. I didn't have a lot of words to say. I didn't know exactly what to do, but I knew that this story needed to be shared and I wanted to share it with her first.
So I laid the, her favorite flowers on her, on her stone, in the manuscript beside him and I pictured
I pictured her being proud [00:27:00] and I pictured her desiring the first sign, the copy. So I took out my pen, I signed it and I said to ma the bus on the best mom, son could ask for. And as God as God would have it the sun picked from behind the cloud as I stood up and, and it headed back toward my vehicle.
And I knew that I thought it'd be back that I had broken that ten-year streak. And I needed to have more conversations with her and to let her know of the legacy that she left with me and that she'll continue to leave to others through the book that that we're releasing.
Tony M.: Praise God. Yeah. Praise God. That's awesome. I think it also really points out thing and your testimony really reminds me that the grief is real and it's [00:28:00] important and it can be above the line, you know, it it's okay to be sad, even. Even when you're thinking about. What's next, right? Like you know, even, even Jesus wept for the loss of his friend.
And I think that that's a really good reminder that grief in so many ways is an act of worship. And so so thank you for, for sharing that and for being so vulnerable. And man, I just love your heart.
Tony H.: Yeah, well, thanks for asking. And so definitely a tough moment, but I think it's the epitome of the title.
That was a stumbling block for me a lot of years. And that became another version of a stepping stone where I'm at. I was able to overcome. That, that disconnect that separation. And I was able to share that moment in that story with her turning this tragedy and the triumphant. It has been not easy.[00:29:00]
I think I, my dad, this was his high school sweetheart. They had 40 years of marriage together and they had planned a fruitful and awesome retirement. They were looking forward to growing old together and that was taken from him. The yeah. The emotions I feel and thinking what he went through is it was really tough.
But as we sit here today he's a resilient man. He's he's a Hixon, he's a, he's a man of faith. He's a farmer. He's a tough guy. He he's been remarried. Pat has now become a welcome and important part of our family. And there, he has a companion and they're doing life together and they're enjoying their later years.
It's pretty cool.
Tony M.: So I'm curious, what did your dad think of the book?
Tony H.: So I was able to give him a signed copy. Let's see. I think they were delivered a couple of weeks ago and a one thing about my dad. I love him to death. He's a slow reader. [00:30:00] I don't believe at this point. He's not all the way through. But he's definitely given me some, some good affirmation along the way.
He hasn't gotten to the end of the story yet.
Tony M.: Now I also know that you are pouring some serious seeds and and you're, you're really doing some. Great work with your kids and you're, you're laying out some stepping stones for them, which by the way, I love that metaphor of you just being there, like, oh, here's a stepping stone.
Here's a stepping stone. What's it been like? What's it been like to look at your kids as you process? As you process all of this in writing. I mean, I would imagine you mentioned in the book that it was a very cathartic process, but it had to have changed or influenced the way that you parent a little bit.
Is that a correct assumption?
Tony H.: That's fair. You know, my kids keep me humble.[00:31:00] I know that this marketing push that we're doing right now to get the book out is kind of trying to make the name famous, but they make sure that I know that I'm, I'm just a dad. I'm just a normal, a normal guy. And I'm not, I'm an embarrassment to, to them half the time and all the good things that dads are supposed to.
One thing that I've been super intentional about in recent years is making sure that my legacy is not just spoken, but also in writing. So every Friday, Oh, I'll whip out my cell phone and I'll text the Hixon family channel. And it's never long and it's never deep, but they're principles that I want to make sure that both the, all three of my children no were important to myself, to my wife, Carrie, as they navigate their future.
You know, my oldest Eliana, she's already a sophomore. She just. School back-up yesterday and yeah, I've got a couple of years left before she graduates and moves on[00:32:00] transitions in the college and becomes her own, her own young adult woman. It's important that we take that. I take the time to articulate.
My values are values that I start, that I began to leave a legacy. Now I don't wait until I'm in my sixties or seventies and put them in an estate plan or a will. That's only read upon my passing, putting them into words today that there'll be able to hopefully. Poor back over as life continues. I don't know if they ever we'll go back to those text messages or, or, or those writings that I've had.
I've given them a signed copy of this book as well. My youngest son, Everett. He's 10. He hasn't even opened it up yet. He has no idea what's inside that thing, but there's a piece there's a piece of, of the Hickson legacy. That's right there at his fingertips. And I'm hopeful that someday he'll, he'll open that up and see what a great grandmother that [00:33:00] my mom would have been and what it would be to him and what a great legacy that the Hickson name will continue.
Tony M.: So true confession. One of my favorite, my all time. Favorite reviews of our podcast on iTunes. You know, how people leave ratings or reviews. It came from your daughter after, after number 12. It's I'll never forget how much she, she gushed over her dad and that's I thought to myself, man, I That's, that's just a really beautiful thing to see.
So please let your daughter know how much I appreciated that and what a special thing it is for me just to watch your guys's relationship play out. And and so I love that and I saw on Facebook recently because of course we're friends. That you guys just completed the fifth annual Hickson family triathlon.
Now I can get my, I can't get my family to fold laundry together. How on earth did you get your family to [00:34:00] do a triathlon together? Tell me about that process for, for the five of you.
Tony H.: Yeah, well, to be clear I can't get my family to fold laundry together either. When you, when you promise ice cream, you can you can certainly get a lot of things done.
That'll one of the cool things that we have here in Findlay, I know a guy that owns. It's flag city clothing, and we're able to get some shirts printed and my kids think they shirts are the coolest thing in the world. And they're branded with Hickson's family triathlon and the year that we do them.
And so they, at this point we, I did it five years ago. Cause I thought it'd be kind of a cool thing and surprised them with the shirt. And then a second year that kind of just became a tradition. So they don't really know. For any other reason than to get a shirt at the end date that works for you?
Shirt and ice cream that works. But it is kind of, it is kind of a fun, a fun little [00:35:00] event is definitely not very long distances obviously, but we do it together and then nobody like gets too far ahead of the other one and we create that memory together and I'm sure they'll look back someday and think how quirky and weird it was.
But at the same time maybe it'll be a tradition that they carry on with their, their kids.
Tony M.: Well, one thing that we all know right. Is that more is caught than taught. And so when you're, when you're doing those kind of intentional activities together, you're giving them the opportunity to see see what a future could look like.
Now. W one of the things I appreciate about you is that you're You're, you're a very determined man. And so you you've done some long distances. Your family may not have, but you recently did an Olympic triathlon and I'm curious what did you learn? I mean, w what do you learn about yourself in the process of, of biking and running and swimming as many miles as you did in that Olympic triathlon?
And, and it's, it's a full marathon, right? It's a mile swim, a full marathon. [00:36:00] Like a 1 million miles on the bike. How many miles on the bike?
Tony H.: Is it at least a million, for sure. Yeah. So to, to clean all the clean that up to anyone, I don't want to give myself too much credit. It's a mile swim, a 26 mile bike and a six mile run.
So not, not a marathon run by him.
Tony M.: I was close. I was like, you know what I was thinking of iron man.
Tony H.: Yeah, there. That is like the extreme level. I've never done an Ironman before.
Tony M.: Okay. So what about yourself in the Olympic.
Tony H.: Right. Well, I picked up the sport. Probably I think it has been 14 years ago right before my 30th birthday.
And I was thinking, man I need to, I need to do something that will challenge me, that I can do with some friends. And that will allow me to be able to. You know, checkout check a box and accomplish a goal. And I got a few buddies together and we did our first sprint distance triathlon here in [00:37:00] Ohio, up in, up in Sylvania.
And I kind of caught the bug and I've been doing a triathlon or, or various triathlons each year, every year, ever since. And while my friends have all kind of waned away I continue to. I continue to think that it's that each person needs to have a bit of a challenge in their lives and to get up in the morning and clear my own mind and be with my thoughts even before the kids get out of bed to be able to challenge myself with with a goal is really invigorating to me.
I once took a strengths finder test. Have you, have you taken the strengths finder test Tony? I have, yes. Yeah. So one of my, I think I actually know my first strength is consistency. So it's just one of those things that you know, God has implanted to me as a, as a, as a gift or as a strength is to be consistent.
So I'm able to get up each morning, oftentimes see the sun. [00:38:00] And prepare for that that finish line, which could be, you know, 12, 14 weeks away from that, from the moment I get up until the final moment where I've actually completed the race. I think it's pretty analogous to you know, the retirement too.
Story as well, where, you know, there could be a pretty long duration of a career where people have put a lot of thought and effort into place from a financial standpoint. But they haven't necessarily prepared fully. So if we're not prepared fully to, to race that, that triathlon, we're not going to be successful.
If our equipment isn't quite right, or we don't have the rights you know, our, our, our, our, our shoes aren't quite right, or we haven't. Okay. I prepared with our cardio that race. Isn't going to go well and we're not going to finish well. And, and just as important is post-race recovery. I've learned that just stopping and going back on the couch and starting to drink pop again is not the definition of a great post-race recovery.
It starting, it's actually going out on a run the [00:39:00] next day to help stretch those sore muscles back out. It's going back out on a, on a ride, the following. And so it's, it's analogous then with, after you pull the trigger on retirement, it's still being able to operate within your unique ability within your gift, within your skillset to kind of wind down over time, instead of all at once wondering man I, I miss it or, or I wish I had that back.
It might be too late, so preparing and then having it happen and then winding down slowly is always. A great way to accomplish a race.
Tony M.: So I know that my listeners love to pray and they oftentimes pray for our guests. I'm curious when it comes to this book and to the ministry that you and Carrie are doing together, what, what can they be praying for you and for this ministry specific.
Hm,
Tony H.: I appreciate you [00:40:00] asking that and I appreciate, appreciate the prayer. I can't help, but think that you know, in a, in an odd way, I'm a fairly. You know, unknown author and yeah. In today's society. I know how things can go. Can get pretty big, pretty quick. They can go viral. And I don't know if it's right to pray.
This prayer of Jay Bez is, you know, expand my territory. I, I'm just really praying that God expands my territory. I'm in Northwest Ohio. And I've got a fairly large following here and in my zip code because our marketing efforts can only reach so far. But there were there's people in Utah and Oregon and in Arizona that need this message as well.
And I might not have the marketing budget to be able to push to that, to that area of the world. But maybe your listeners and, and obviously God has the ability to make sure that that happens. This is one of the few financial books, if not one of the only financial books that's coming out that [00:41:00] does have a human interest element.
Dave Ramsey. Yeah. I love each and every book that comes out of their organization. It's more of a, to do and, and a financial metric box check boxes. This one, it comes at at, at the financial perspective, from a financial perspective that that's not commonly written about. I'm a big believer that God wastes nothing.
And at this, that this story, as tragic as it was he's going to be used for his glory and as hard as it is for me to share about what happened to mom. I think it will be, I know it will be instructive to others and they won't repeat her same mistakes. And even though that depression rates amongst newly retired people are high and, and suicide rates actually peak at age 75 for, for men.
Hopefully this book will provide them an alternative path. It'll give them teachings and lessons and work to do to pull them back up above the line. And it won't just be an impact felt in Northwest Ohio. [00:42:00] But it'll be an impact felt throughout the state, throughout the country and throughout this world.
Tony M.: I love that. I love that. And that's a prayer that we can all join in together. So Now, I know I have one more question for you, but I know that my, my listeners are going to want to find you on the interwebs. I know that you're blogging on a regular basis. I mean, you you're, you're all in on this writing thing and I'm here for it because I got with your, your gift set has got a lot of writing to do, and a lot of messages to get out where where's the best place that people can, can learn more about you pick up their copy of the book and, and get connected to
Tony H.: Yeah.
Well, thanks for asking pastor Tony, I guess, to pick up a copy of the book, Tony hixon.com forward slash book it's available on any major online retailer. There's a companion piece. There is a workbook that will go along with it. Simply go to Tony hixon.com, download a free copy of the workbook as a companion piece to as you read the book, you're able [00:43:00] to answer the questions right along.
And then for those who want to engage in the conversation beyond the book, I am a weekly blogger and I'd love for you to, to engage on my on my platform by simply going to Tony hixon.com forward slash blog and subscribing there. And then from a social media standpoint, I tend to be most active on Facebook and you can find me at Tony Hicks and financial advice.
Tony M.: It's good stuff. It's good stuff. Okay. Last question. I always love to ask people and it's an advice question. If you could give yourself one piece of advice, except I get to I get to take you back to a very specific moment, right? And the moment that I'm going to choose here is the first day that you opened up your computer to start writing this manuscript.
If you could go back and now I know that's not very many years ago. It's not, sometimes they go back way further, but in this particular case, I'm curious what, what's the one piece of [00:44:00] advice you would give a, that younger version of Tony as he begins to set out on this process of telling the story of his mom and his mom.
Tony H.: Hmm. Well, from just a practical standpoint, I hit backspace a lot. Trying to, I was trying to make it too perfect too quickly as opposed to just allowing the thoughts and the fingers flow. I, I, I got too caught up in making it. Making it too perfect too quickly. I've I've now discovered that the editing process and and the publisher are what tend to perfect that a lot more than I ever could.
I think from just a know, less practical level. I don't, I'm going to turn this question back to you here eventually, but I think the word is imposter syndrome to, to somehow overcome what you know about how other books are doing or how big other authors are, or these other. [00:45:00] Podcast platforms that have the ability to get their message out to the masses in a very easy and convenient way.
I just felt very, very small, very intimidated and time. And again, that would often stop me from even on writing that next page or that next paragraph. I was like, what am I doing? This? The story is not going to go anywhere. It's going to it's going to just simply impact, you know maybe one or two clients and slowly but surely I thought, you know what.
If it impacts one or two clients it's been successful. So I found myself about halfway through the, the, the writing of the book. And a good friend of mine he's in his early seventies had asked if I would join him for coffee. And I went down to the local coffee shop with him. He was a very successful corporate executive and I couldn't help, but notice when I met with him that day, there was something about him that was just a bit he seemed a bit down and I wasn't quite sure why.[00:46:00]
And so I decided. Try to ask some, some questions. I knew he had retired recently. I hadn't met with him. This was March of 20. I'm sorry, this was July of 2020. And I was about halfway three quarters of the way through the book at that point. And he had basically articulated to me unknowing, not knowing who I was that I was even writing a book that he had he, he was not doing well with her.
Hmm that he had met with his advisor, a zillion times to, and his wife to check the, the financial boxes and that he was able to give and philanthropically. And he was able to bless his grandkids with trips and this and that and the other. And, and yet he had just kind of felt like he had lost it.
In that moment. I was just in the, in the, in the deep recesses of, of getting this out of my brain and I was able to give him for all intents and purposes, a five minute summary of my 162 page book. [00:47:00] And. Through tears of joy. And that moment he thanked me and asked for, you know, I told him I was putting it in writing.
He wants, he wanted the first copy. And I said, I will give that to you. That afternoon or that later that day I had lunch with my wife and I got a text from. And I asked Carrie if it'd be okay if I open it up. And she said, absolutely, that's why I opened the text to see what it would say and the text that he had, that he had written to me.
So Tony, thank you for your time this morning today, whether you knew it or not, you quite literally saved a lot. Wow. I don't know exactly the deeper meaning behind those words, but it was instructive to me to know that while other authors may have large platforms and larger marketing budgets and huge publishers I've got him.
I got that guy. [00:48:00] I will be able to share that, share that story with him. And it was able to make an impact. And for me, it gave me the motivation to get back into the office and, and get the rest of that book written. So I don't know if that really answers your question, but how do you posture, how do you overcome kind of that imposter syndrome?
How would you encourage a person.
Tony M.: I have a good counselor. I have a very good counselor that I see on a regular basis. And that's part of it. You know, but I think what you did with that gentleman is probably the best. It's the best reminder, you know, it's, it's, you know, I D I do it for one. I do it for me.
I do it for the process, you know, it's, it's really easy. It's really easy to look at a podcast episode for me and be like, That thing should be blowing up. Why, why haven't all of these people downloaded it and right. And, and yeah. You know, I don't get to control any of that. Right? [00:49:00] Like I don't get to control how many people listen or don't listen, or how many people leave ratings or reviews or all of the things that, you know, show I'm gonna use air quotes, success.
But what I do get to control is how much I love the process. And I had to sit down with somebody like you and all the incredible guests that I get to have on the, on the podcast and the platform and, and man. I, I believe it's probably going to change one life. You know, that the conversation we had today is going to change a life.
And because that's how God works. He goes after the one. And so I think if we stay faithful to the one that what's that old adage, right. It takes a really long time to become an overnight success. And and if that happens great, if it doesn't happen, that's great too. That's not going to stop me from.
Poland, incredible authors and like yourself and talking about your story and and being moved. And I got a whole file. I had a whole file cabinet full of notes on things like that. And it just, man, it just warms my heart every time I put one in it. [00:50:00] So, you know, as we, as we wrap this up, I'll rip this off and I'll put it in my yet to publish folder.
And then once I publish it, I'll put it in the published folder and, and I'll think to myself, man, I can't believe I get to have such a incredible conversation with somebody.
Tony H.: So well said, I love it. I love it. And really appreciate what you and your wife, Karen are doing. The bless, bless others through the, not only through this podcast, but also in your, in your chosen career and your chosen mission, mission field.
I know that many are blessed by your encouragement, your words, your understanding of who God is and, and your articulate way of, of taking really complex theological paradigms and being able to put them into levels that we can understand that would help us to grow closer to our savior.
So thank you for what you do. Thank you for being a voice and keep up the great work.
Tony M.: Hey, I appreciate you, man. And thanks for being so generous. I can't wait to celebrate you [00:51:00] a book. Number two, book number two.
Tony H.: Oh man. I don't know if I'm ready for that. You shall see.
Tony M.: We'll see what God does. All right.
Thanks a lot, man.
Tony H.: Indeed. Hey, thanks for your time. Take care.
Tony M.: Man. I just love Tony's heart. I appreciate the way that he leans into his story. He's sharing it almost in real time. As he talked about that first trip to the cemetery. I don't know about you, but I know that there've been so many moments in my life where I've been scared to do hard things and yeah, I just love the way Tony tackles that head on Hey, go ahead and hit him up on social media.
Let them know that you heard him here on the reclamation podcast. Give him a up. Subscribed to his email list and pick up a copy of his book. It's going to go a long way in supporting his ministry and how God is working through his platform. Again, guys, I'm so thankful for you hit that subscribe button, leave a rating or review and share this episode with a friend.
It really [00:52:00] just means the world to us. And we're incredibly thankful for who you are and your commitment to this community. As always, don't forget. If you want to follow Jesus, you must be willing to move.
